words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Janine: Its a curling iron.
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Janine: No no no no, its potpourri. Youre supposed to smell it. (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Rachel: Ahh .So Wow The spring line, its really going to be great this year, huh?
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Monica: Yeah. Go over to Joeys. Go over to Joeys and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Kim: Thats not true?
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
[Scene: Hillarys apartment, Hillary and Ross are finishing up their date.]
Hillary: Whats a matter with you?
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Janine: Whats the matter? Are you upset?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Dr. Green: Whats TiVo?
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Chandler: Thats me.
Chandler: So shes a
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Monica: Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girls number.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Stu: No, shes a hooker.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Will: Its good to see you man.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Rosss wedding.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Monica: Its true?!!
Monica: Thats not totally true.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Rachel: Shes right.
Ross: O-okay, Rach calm-calm down, okay? She-shes really upset were just talking.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personalityWell, theyre all back! Yknow? And shes picked up like nine new ones!
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
(Theres a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Chandler: Whats going on?
Lewis: I know! Its awful. I love you.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Chandler: Hes at a dinner party.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Rachel: No! Seriously! Whats wrong with you?!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Stu: No problem. So whos the party for?
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Joey: Oh, whats wrong?
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
[Cut to Joey and Janines, theyre entering.]
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.