words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Janine: Its a curling iron.
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Janine: No no no no, its potpourri. Youre supposed to smell it. (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Rachel: Ahh .So Wow The spring line, its really going to be great this year, huh?
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Monica: Yeah. Go over to Joeys. Go over to Joeys and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Kim: Thats not true?
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
[Scene: Hillarys apartment, Hillary and Ross are finishing up their date.]
Hillary: Whats a matter with you?
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Janine: Whats the matter? Are you upset?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler and Ross are there. Monica enters]
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Joey: I dont know, maybe I cant. I mean, maybe theres something wrong with me.
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
Ross: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everythings gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
Mark: Well, then hes, hes probably just, out.
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
Joey: Its cute, huh?
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Rachel: Its Robert Bobby.
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Lets go.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Phoebe: But, its not like were losing anything. Y'know?
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Chandler: Hey Joe whats up?
Chandler: What? Thats terrible!
Rachel: Thats right!
Phoebe: Ooh, whos it for?
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Lisa: Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thats your fault. I say.
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Chandler: So shes just waiting over there for ya?
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Rachel: Thats right!
Phoebe: No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) Its a line of ants! Theyre working as a team!
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Emily: No ones ever thrown me a surprise party before!
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!