words in movies
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
[Chandler goes to take off Jacks coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jacks shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
[Monica rushes over to Chandlers side.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Chandler: Whats going on?
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Hilda: No dear. Its not.
Chandler: Whats this?
Joey: So uh, whats your name?
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Joey: Thats weird!
The Fireman: Theres a reset button under the plastic cover.
Joey: Thats kinda hot.
Chandler: And theres daddy!
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Chandler: Thats Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano.
Chandler: Hes coming into the audience. Hes coming into the audience.
Phoebe: Thats great Joe!
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Helena: So whats your name?
Helena: Its raining men!
Policeman: Thats right.
Rachel: Its a different guy!
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Monica: Thats much better.
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Chandler: Whats up?
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel walks up the stairs and knocks on Joeys door.]
Rachel: So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: All right, it wont go down any further. Its stuck.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Monica: Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after shes done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila.
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Rachel: Lets go to lunch.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
The Director: Lets reset.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
The Director: Lets take it from there.
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
{Transcribers Note: Tradition was broken here as there were no commercials immediately after the opening credits, just more show.}
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Joey: Oh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, thats weird!
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you!
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: Shes right there.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows that coffee comin, dear?
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Chandler: Sure. Ummm. Whats up?
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
Ross: Rach, hes not an ex-con.
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, its like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, lets trade!