words in movies
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
[Chandler goes to take off Jacks coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jacks shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
[Monica rushes over to Chandlers side.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: Oh yeah, its beautiful country up there.
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? Its a button down, like a, like a faded salmon?
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
Monica: Thats also like the tenth time you told us.
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Ross: Wow, thats-thats-thats incredible.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: Yeah, and yknow what? I dont give a tiny rats ass.
Joey: Well, youre timing couldnt be better. Shes not my girlfriend anymore.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
The Stripper: Whats he talking about?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Ross: No, thats all right.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Ross: All right, lets go! Bye, Pheebs!
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Ross: What?! No! No! Thats-thats time-out!
Monica: Its nice.
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Ross: Its all right! Everythings gonna be all right.
Alice: So umm, you feel like taking a test? Theres only one question.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Monica: Ugh, shes upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! Im not doing them this time! I dont care if those dishes sit in the sink until theyre all covered withIll do them when I get home!
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
Emily: So what are you saying? Its now or never?
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
[Rosss beeper goes off.]
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Fergie: (Yep, Sarah, the Duchess of York) Okay, so umm, whats your friends name?
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: Whos seven?
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
Phoebe: Thats not why youre going! Youre going because you hope hes gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Joey: Whats in it?
Ross: whats up, Dad?
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
The Saleslady: Yes, whats the name, please?
Rachel: All right, come on, lets go get your coat.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
Chandler: Thats a low one!
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Frank: (noticing the puppy) Oh, whos this little guy?! (Grabs the puppy)
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Phoebe: No-no, its okay. But are we sure we dont want the waterbed?
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Emily: What-whats going on?!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?