words in movies
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Chandler: Wow! She looks great. Doesnt she?
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Chandler: Did she call?
Ross: Hes right, what she did was unforgivable.
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Joey: Dude, tell me she actually told you this.
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
(She has cleaned it, completely redecorated it, removed the carpet, and polished the floor.)
Chandler: Well, she wasnt sleeping with him.
Chandler: She is now.
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Ross: Hi. How is she?
Mr. Burgin: I like her. She sees smart.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Monica: Maybe I do! Im pretty feisty! (She blows the signal.)
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
(They kiss and she starts to leave.)
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
Ross: Well how much time before she absolutely has to start getting ready?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Chandler: So shes a
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Joey: Why-why would she go in the bedroom?
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Chandler: Why would she do that?
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
MNCA: She's just upset because she, uh, she buttered a spider into her toast this morning.
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Stu: No, shes a hooker.
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Joey: She is?
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Ross: No need to point, she knows who Ross is.
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Ross: Hey! She didnt look 50!
Ross: She didnt photograph well!
Stripper: All right, whenever youre ready. (She goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Did she look 16?
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Monica: Didnt she walk with a cane?
Rachel: Shes right.
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Joey: She took em!
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
(She goes over and lets Phoebe bounce in wearing her own wedding dress.)
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! Youre kidding! Youre kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you!
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Ross: A date?! Shes-shes got a date?! With who?
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
Ross: Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)
Monica: Oh. (She goes into the bathroom.) Whats wrong?
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Chandler: No, Beth doesnt die, she doesnt die. Does she Rachel?
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
Rachel: (thinking) Hmm maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant.
Joey: (slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Mona: Seriously, what is she doing?
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Ross: Well, uh, does she like you?
Rachel: Yeah. (She goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.)
RACHEL: Oh shoot.� I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.� (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.)� Wait, wait.� Sorry.� Did he call?� Did that guy call?
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
(She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
Chandler: She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.)
Rachel: No-no Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph (She starts laughing.)
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store arent gonna believe this! (Exits.)
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.