words in movies
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: She what?!
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
(She holds his hand for a little while then )
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
ROSS: Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Rachel: Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Janine: Well yknow, hes blah, shes justshes very loud for such a small person.
Rachel: What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Monica: Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, (Checks watch) she should be here by now.
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Ross: Oh. (He takes the notepad she was using and looks at it.) Wow! (Flips to another page.) Huh. (Flips another page.) Boy! (Flips another page.) Well, someones been doing their homework. (Flips two more pages.)
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
(She squirts some of the grease along Joey's face.)
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Chandler: Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on?
Chandler: Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didnt stop it. I guess I-I just wasnt thinking
Ross: Uh, actually I think she went to the salon.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her.
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didnt disagree with you.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Jill: Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Frank: Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off.
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Joey: Oh, forget about it. She rocks!
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Katie: Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! (She punches Rachel.)
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Monica: Oh, youre totally welcome! Whatd she say?
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh(She is hung up on.)
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Rachel: Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. (she walks away towards the door)
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)
Rachel: Okay, Im totally cool! (She coolly knocks on the door)
(She throws it straight, and Monica makes a big deal about catching it.)
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)