words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
Rachel: So?
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Monica: We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Joey: Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Ross: It would be so cool to live across from you guys!
Tom: So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
Rachel: What-wh-what so well just stay married forever?!
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
Joey: I never laughed so hardDid you see the wine come out of my nose?
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Ross: I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe!
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Joey: Yes I am! Again so simple!
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Ross: So your dad dropped by. Hes a pleasant man!
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off...
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait.
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
Phoebe: You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny...
Mr. Geller: Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought wed see what all the fuss is about.
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Julie: Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler.
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
Mike: Ok... so...(They hug) Goodbye.
Ross: Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.
Chandler: Oh! Oh! That's so hard. (Starts to juggle the ball, but loses control and almost drops it and hands it to Monica.)
Gary: Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
Phoebe: Oh, okay I didnt get that message. So this doesnt countAnyway, Ill be in my office.
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
PHOE: You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. [they hug]
Dr. Long: So, eight days late huh?
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
Phoebe: (looking around) Whos cell phone is that? Its just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Rachel: Its so secluded up here.
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffeeahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
Ross: Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.'
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist...
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Ross: Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Phoebe: So you hired yourself a little treat did ya?
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?
Monica: So Don, what-what other restaurants do you like?
Rachel: Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said!
Joey: Got it! (He picks up a lamp.) So
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
Rachel: (Yawning) Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'...
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Monica: Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing...
(Ross fake laughs, obviously not finding this funny, and hes starting to panic, so he shoves the whole saltwater taffy hes eating in his mouth)
Joey: So its noticeable huh?
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Ross: Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all because of a sandwich.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What�s wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, �what, you live together but you�re not a couple? And you have a baby, isn�t that weird?� And I say �No.You know what, it�s not, because it works for us!� But you know this doesn�t work. In fact this is the opposite of working!
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.