words in movies
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Susan: (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.
[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: Yknow, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Look at that.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
(Susan enters)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Susan: What is, honey?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: What's it look like?
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: But were fine.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.