words in movies
Phoebe: I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Ross: Yknow, I dont think were going to settle this.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Chandler: Yknow uh, I didnt actually do this.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we wouldve gone through with it? Yknow, if we hadnt gotten caught. Do you think we wouldve done it?
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I dont!
Mark: No. And I dont think Im gonna want to.
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Commercial: (in the background their singing Smelly Cat) Problem odour in the litter box? Dont change your kitty, change your kitty litter.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Rachel: I am sorry, I don’t know, I am sorry, I don’t know why I did that!
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Ross: And then Rachel wasn�t sure she could leave the baby.
Monica: This doesnt mean anything, does it?
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: Uh, I dont even really know where I left those. Sorry.
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Rachel: Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. Im just glad we didnt do anything stupid.
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Monica: (shyly) I dont know.
Phoebe: We didnt have sex.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I cant get out!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Monica: No because it-it didnt seem important.
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Monica: You got the job?! Why didnt you tell me?
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Joey: They break your heart, dont they?
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Chandler: Sure, why dont you set it up. Ill just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Mona: Yknow, I-I-I just I dont want to get in the middle of something so complicated.
Monica: What are you doing here? You cant be here!
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn�t get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Monica: Yeah! I didnt know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!
Leslie: Come here, come here. (they go to the side of the stage) Okay, dont get mad, okay.
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Rachel: Oh I dont know honey. Its gonna be really late.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Phoebe: Yeah, so please, please, please, dont say anything to Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.