words in movies
Phoebe: I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Ross: Yknow, I dont think were going to settle this.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, I dont think so!
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
(Upon hearing this, Joey cant turn his chair around fast enough and knocks it over.)
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Ohh-oh, wasnt he cheating on you with her?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Rachel: Oh, but yknow, no, you didnt give me your phone number.
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Paul: Honey, we dont have any bears here.
Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Chandler: He didnt say anything about that to me.
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
All: I dont have anything. (All of the rest of the women there hide their gifts behind their backs.)
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. Thats why I cant take this job.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, yknow, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldnt.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Joey: Dont worry about that man, that happens.
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
Monica: Oh I cant. Dr. Roger is coming over again.
Ross: Then dont. Stay here. Just dont go so soon to London, just one more day.
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Chandler: Oh, and we should warn you, before you watch it: dont watch it.
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Ross: Look, I dont know what youre talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person.
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
Chandler: (angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Ross: No, no, no, no! Dont tell me! I dont want to know!
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Joey: (He looks around the room) This isnt the right room, sorry folks. (leaves)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Rachel: Well no, I dont smell anything.
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Rachel: Noo! Oh God we didwe didnt, we didnt uhh
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Cliff: It doesnt happen to me either.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.