words in movies
Phoebe: I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Ross: Yknow, I dont think were going to settle this.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: Oh, and we should warn you, before you watch it: dont watch it.
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Ross: Look, I dont know what youre talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person.
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
Chandler: (angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Ross: No, no, no, no! Dont tell me! I dont want to know!
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Joey: (He looks around the room) This isnt the right room, sorry folks. (leaves)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Rachel: Well no, I dont smell anything.
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Rachel: Noo! Oh God we didwe didnt, we didnt uhh
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Cliff: It doesnt happen to me either.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadn’t gotten the question wrong!
Chandler: So you you dont want to live with Don in a cheese house?
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Rachel: Oh, I cant watch this. (turns her eyes away)
Phoebe: Okay, what about you? (Points to Karin) Wouldnt you want a date?
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
Dina: I I dont care about fashion! Im pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me!
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I dont have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)
Rachel: Honey dont worry, it was my mistake.
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Monica: Honey, we dont really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Monica: It sure is nice to do this together, isnt it?
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Chandler: Man, didnt she like just get here?
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Monica: No-no, Rachel, dont get it! He cant see us!
Chandler: I dont know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Monica: I cant believe her, yknow its justits so typical.
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Ross: Pheebs, if you dont tell him, soon hes gonna be married, and then youre gonna hate yourself.
Ross: Sweetie, dont worry youll get picked. Chandler.