words in movies
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Monica: I dont know sweetie.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Chandler: Maybe, she doesnt hit him all the time.
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Chandler: Yes you can. Youre thinking about time, you cant go back in time.
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
Chandler: You dont want to be guys, youd be all hairy and wouldnt live as long. (Starts to go to his bedroom)
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Monica: Oh! And dont let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy.
Joey: I guess you wouldnt believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
Monica: What, he doesnt like Josh?
Rachel: No, I dont.
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, yknow what, you were right, you were right. We really werent great at being guys, but you know why? Because were girls.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Joey: I dont wanna.
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnt quite there. Yknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Tag: I know I havent worked in an office before, and I really dont have a lot of experience, but uh
Monica: I mean, I-I, I really shouldnt say. I mean, Im really not supposed to.
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
Elizabeth: Oh, dont worry I have plenty of sun block, its SPF-30.
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Chandler: I cannot believe you didnt pick me.
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Phoebe: You cant give up on your dream.
Ross: Uh actually, sorry I cant even make it. Im seeing Mona again tonight.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Ross: Well, okay so, I dont have it all worked out quite yet. Just dont say anything to Rachel, please?
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: This doesnt feel weird!
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Ross: Come on Rach, you dont have what, ten minutes?
Chandler: (to Robert) So ah, isnt a bit cold out for shorts?
Dina: I-I cant go in there. I cant tell him!
Phoebe: I know you didnt, I was talking about Monica.
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joey: I said I didnt technically.
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme?
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Chandler: Yknow uh, I didnt actually do this.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we wouldve gone through with it? Yknow, if we hadnt gotten caught. Do you think we wouldve done it?
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I dont!
Mark: No. And I dont think Im gonna want to.
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Commercial: (in the background their singing Smelly Cat) Problem odour in the litter box? Dont change your kitty, change your kitty litter.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Rachel: I am sorry, I don’t know, I am sorry, I don’t know why I did that!
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Ross: And then Rachel wasn�t sure she could leave the baby.
Monica: This doesnt mean anything, does it?
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: Uh, I dont even really know where I left those. Sorry.
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Rachel: Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. Im just glad we didnt do anything stupid.