words in movies
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Monica: I dont know sweetie.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Chandler: Maybe, she doesnt hit him all the time.
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Chandler: Yes you can. Youre thinking about time, you cant go back in time.
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
Chandler: You dont want to be guys, youd be all hairy and wouldnt live as long. (Starts to go to his bedroom)
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Monica: Oh! And dont let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy.
Joey: I guess you wouldnt believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
Monica: What, he doesnt like Josh?
Rachel: No, I dont.
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, yknow what, you were right, you were right. We really werent great at being guys, but you know why? Because were girls.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Joey: I dont wanna.
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnt quite there. Yknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Chandler: Yeah, well, dont expect that to happen anytime soon!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Rachel: I dont know, something either trees or diseaseRalph mumbles a lot.
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Phoebe: Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Ross: No, I cant get it out.
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Chandler: I cant remember which sister.
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Rachel: Oh wow, you didnt even try to unhook my bra!
Chandler: Uhh, a T-shirt that says, "I dont belong here."
Rachel: Joey! I cant believe you just did that!
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Chandler: It was fine, yknow? But she didnt agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, "I see you point, Im all right with it."
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Tim: She-she wasnt ready for a serious commitment.
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know, I guess, Chris ODonnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Chandler: Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesnt get it.) Santa Clauss pants.
Phoebe: Im so jealous youre all going! I cant believe I never knew that you cant fly in your third trimester!
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Rachel: Well, who wouldnt?!
Chandler: I dont know exactly.
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Phoebe: Dont feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isnt gay.
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Richard: I know I couldnt. So....
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Rachel: (teasingly) And while Im gone dont you boys sneak a taste.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Ross: I cant, I cant even believe her! No, yknow what, I am, I am gonna go!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Chandler: Why havent you told them?! Wouldnt they be happy?!
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Monica: Y'know what, thats fine, maybe you havent grown up, but I have.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Chandler: We dont have to come up with this now.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Customer: I dont know. (Pause) Let me see the ring.
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I cant. We dont have that....