words in movies
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Phoebe-Estelle: Don’t take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic?
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
Rachel: When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn’t that great?
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Chandler: Dont worry.
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh! Dont sit down!
Ross: Yes I-I am. In fact umm hey, why dont we try it my special way? You can dance on my feet.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Ginger: Dont you have to use the bathroom?
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Phoebe: She wasnt a hooker.
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Monica: Well, dont cha wanna?
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Chandler: No. No. I dont think so.
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Pete: (turns off the TV) Youre taking this all wrong. Because, if I didnt leave you that tip, you wouldnt of come down here, we wouldnt be having this argument, and there wouldnt be this ah, heat between us.
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Ross: OH MY GOD!! I didnt really believe it until you just said it!!
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Joey: Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I dont know what to do! (Long pause, as everyone cracks up.)
Cliff: Cant you figure that out based on my date of birth?
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I dont!
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
Joey: I do! So much! I cant stop thinking about her! I cant sleep, I
Rachel: I dont know.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Girl: Why dont you look in the mirror, scrud.
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Tommy: Oh, I didnt, I didnt know that.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Joey: Dont answer that.
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Ross: No, Rachel doesnt want me to....
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
Rachel: I dont know. I know I dont work late tomorrow night.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: It didnt.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Monica: I dont know.
Ginger: Oh, dont worry about it.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Alice: (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You dont know what this means to us! Oh!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Chandler: No!! You cant!!
Ross: Can�t hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.
Rachel: I cant do this.
Woman: Mine havent been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one!
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Really? Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Phoebe: It isnt?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Cecilia: Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. Im used to it, dont worry about it.