words in movies
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didnt agree to that!
Ross: I dont know.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Phoebe: You just cant stand anyone else enjoying themselves cant you?
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Joey: What?! I dont have 20,000!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldnt imagine growing old with
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I dont know why I did that!
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Monica: Chandler, wh-why dont we sit down?
Joey: I didnt know it was an auction!
Joey: I dont know! Charity?
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think so dear.
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
Joey: We didnt ruin it!
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you dont really believe that do you?
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: I didnt change!
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Monica: I dont know why Im here.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Monica: I dont know.
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Joey: No we werent!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Chandler: Oh my God, I cant believe this! Yknow, I thought I thought you were a good guy.
Chandler: Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didnt tell my girlfriend that you love her?
Chandler: Yknow what? I cant believe this! Do you know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over! You made my girlfriend think!!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
Chandler: I cant talk to you now, I gotta find Monica!
Chandler: Well why didnt you stop her?! Why didnt you just tell her it was a plan?!
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Chandler: I cant believe I ruined this.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Monica: (also reading it) It doesn’t make any sense.
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Chandler: Dog grooming huh? Okay, just dont make my tail too poofy.
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Monica: (interrupting) All right!! All right. (walks slowly into the living room) I got stung. Stung bad. I couldnt stand. I-I couldnt walk.
Ross: Wait-wait-wait, do you, do you think, maybe we shouldnt invite her?
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
Phoebe: No! No!! Its me! Its me! I-I didnt want to make any noise!
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Monica: I dont believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! Its gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! Id be cold, but Im always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners.
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Chandler: Well, you dont you have Captain Hook explain it to her.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Chandler: I still dont get it, we didnt do anything wrong.
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Phoebe: �kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting Chandler.) Hey�hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don�t people know, you�re not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Cecilia: Yeah but Jessica doesnt have an English accent.
Rachel: Ish. I just don�t think I can bear it.
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
Chandler: Im sorry, Im sorry, it just seems that Robert isnt as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
David: Yeah, I Well I really actually wanted to say umm, that, but um, I figured I probably shouldnt because yknow, I have to leave.
Mrs. Waltham: Well, if youre on e of Rosss best friends, why arent you here?
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Joey: Now you cant tell anyone, but uh I put on shiny lip balm.
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Mona's Date: Oh umm, I-I dont know if I want to wear a womans shirt.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldnt let you have one?
Chandler: No-no, I dont think you heard me. Are you ready to party?!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we dont want you to stay, obviously youre welcomeHow much more homework do you have?
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont eat that either.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Jill: Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didnt go in. How strong am I?
Rachel: Yknow I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Monica: Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say that I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I mean it just wouldnt be myour-our night, if you all werent here to celebrate with meusDamnit!
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Phoebe: I know! But if I didnt work there, what else would I do?
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I cant believe youre not gonna be there!
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didnt understand the question.
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?