words in movies
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Rachel: Well, who wouldnt?!
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Chandler: Oh Joeys got a really bad hernia, but thats nothing a little laser eye surgery wont fix!
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Chandler: Dont worry.
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh! Dont sit down!
Ross: Yes I-I am. In fact umm hey, why dont we try it my special way? You can dance on my feet.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Ginger: Dont you have to use the bathroom?
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Phoebe: She wasnt a hooker.
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Monica: Well, dont cha wanna?
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Chandler: No. No. I dont think so.
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Pete: (turns off the TV) Youre taking this all wrong. Because, if I didnt leave you that tip, you wouldnt of come down here, we wouldnt be having this argument, and there wouldnt be this ah, heat between us.
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Ross: OH MY GOD!! I didnt really believe it until you just said it!!
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Joey: Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I dont know what to do! (Long pause, as everyone cracks up.)
Cliff: Cant you figure that out based on my date of birth?
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I dont!
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
Joey: I do! So much! I cant stop thinking about her! I cant sleep, I
Rachel: I dont know.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Girl: Why dont you look in the mirror, scrud.
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Tommy: Oh, I didnt, I didnt know that.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Joey: Dont answer that.
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Ross: No, Rachel doesnt want me to....
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
Rachel: I dont know. I know I dont work late tomorrow night.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: It didnt.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Monica: I dont know.
Ginger: Oh, dont worry about it.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Alice: (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You dont know what this means to us! Oh!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Chandler: No!! You cant!!
Ross: Can�t hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.
Rachel: I cant do this.
Woman: Mine havent been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one!
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Really? Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Phoebe: It isnt?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Cecilia: Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. Im used to it, dont worry about it.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Phoebe: You didnt say Boutros Boutros Gali.