words in movies
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Rachel: Noo, thats our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows that coffee comin, dear?
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Rachel: Oh, that sounds great.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Guy: Oh believe me, I-I-Ive been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Monica: Isnt that great?
Ross: Thats excellent.
Rachel: Well, I assume Ill have to take showers with him, but y'know, thats true of any job.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Monica: No, no, no, thats Dina.
Monica: That was me.
Monica: Thats okay.
Rachel: Thats all right.
Ross: Thats okay.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Ross: That is so made up!
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesnt mean anything.
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Monica: Oh good, Im glad thats catching on.
ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Joey: Thanks so much, Pheebs! (to the dog) We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! (the dog sticks his head between Joeys legs) Oh! Not that kind of fun.
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: That new mountain bike?
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Ross: (notices the table) HeyOoh! Whats-whats that, dinner stuff? You making dinner?
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Phoebe: Oh-oh, thats your thing.
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Rachel: Whoa-oh, what's-what's that? (Points.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
Rachel: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Rachel: (entering) Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure?
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Rachel: What was that?!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Monica: Yeah, hes gonna work on that.
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Joey: (smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Ross: Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat.
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Monica: It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Chandler: That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
Chandler: So, thats it?
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.