words in movies
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Rachel: Noo, thats our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows that coffee comin, dear?
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Rachel: Oh, that sounds great.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Guy: Oh believe me, I-I-Ive been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Monica: Isnt that great?
Ross: Thats excellent.
Rachel: Well, I assume Ill have to take showers with him, but y'know, thats true of any job.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Monica: No, no, no, thats Dina.
Monica: That was me.
Monica: Thats okay.
Rachel: Thats all right.
Ross: Thats okay.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Ross: That is so made up!
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesnt mean anything.
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Rachel: I can't believe you would say that!
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Both: We can't do that. (They separate.)
Monica: What was that?
Phoebe: It's nice that he has someone.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
CHANDLER: (hushed) No, no, no, no, no.� Joey can't know that I'm here.
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
Joey: Dont answer that.
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
Rachel: All right, I like that.
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Ross: I didnt give her that ring!
Chandler: Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Chandler: [mocks that last comment].
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.
Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Phoebe: That was my dad!
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Joey: Oh, that poor bastard.
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Rachel: Say more things like that.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Frank Sr.: It really says that?!
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Ross: Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?! Why? Why would you do that?!
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Monica: Wow! That guy is so rude!
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
ROSS: If you wanna call that a reason.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
RACHEL: OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater.
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Monica: You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
Chandler: Oh, y'know I-I can't hear that enough.
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.
Chandler: You didnt get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
Emily: Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Monica: Thats not funny.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we we gotta be careful. We we cant let that happen again, yknow?
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.