words in movies
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ticket Agent: I cant do that.
Joey: Im not answering that.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I could do that.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: I would love that job!
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Joey: See? Eh, wasnt that fun?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Gary: That would be great!
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: (Gasps) What?!! You cannot tell him that!!
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Joey: Won't-won't that take longer?
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: That is so made up!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
CHANDLER: Believe me, sometimes that happens.
Phoebe: That is.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Caitlin: Oh my God! That was flirting?!
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Chandler: I do like that.
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.