words in movies
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: You knew about that?
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Chandler: Aw, don't do that
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Monica: Yes! And that would be a shut-down!
Ross: Thats right!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
Chandler: Thats a hernia.
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Phoebe: Oh, howd that happen?
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Monica: It doesnt say that!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Joey: Nope, not that one.
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
CHANDLER: I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
Chandler: Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope thats okay.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Monica: Oh, we're not doing that. Okay
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Chandler: That is true.
Rachel: Ohhh, I-I would enjoy that!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Monica: Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again?
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: But then later that night
Joey: Six months? Whoa thats rough.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Russell: Oh, thats better then.
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Monica: That youre not funny or sexy?
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Chandler: Okay, good luck with that. (Exits.)
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: Thats laughter.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that.
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Rick: Suddenly, I very aware that Im naked.
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
Ross: And now you want that money back.
CHANDLER: It's Joey.� (He answers it, holding it out so that Monica can hear too.)� Hey Joe.
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Monica: Never done that before.
Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that?
Don: No. But God, a house made of cheese, wouldnt that be incredible?!
Chandler: But we dont do that.
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Phoebe: Why? Why would you do that?