words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Student: Ooh, dude. Thats not gonna happen.
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Rachel: Oh my God. And that works?!
Rachel: (looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Rachel: I am not gonna answer that!
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Rachel: How do you do that?
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Rachel: Well dont you have that big date tonight?
Joey: Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that thats exactly it. Youre right. Yeah.
Rachel: Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, thats him! Thats him! Thats Cujo! Thats Cujo!
Monica: Ross, thats my jacket.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, you think I dont know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! (He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! Thatll be $400!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Monica: But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are.
Ross: Yeah thats what she said.
Joey: And youre Okay with that?
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-Iwould youactually, would you go check on that?
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Erica: Oh, ok. I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts.
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.
Joey: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
Joey: Whoaheywh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Girl: Mommy, what's wrong with that man?
FBOB: I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. [they hug]
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
<Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!">
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Joey: that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Ross looks down: No, that that is not what we're saying.
Chandler: Ok honey. that was close.
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Joey: and who's fault is that.
Joey: Im sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
Ross: umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together?
Monica: And Phoebe is his friend, so he thinks that would be breaking the rules!
Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Phoebe: You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Monica: (comes over) O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you?
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Monica: You said that was sexy!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Monica: What kind of karate is that?
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That�ll make a baby.
Monica: (laughs) Is that a secret or a lie.
Rachel: Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I justI meant yknow are you still a We or are you just You?
Monica: That�s right, I got mine.
Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that ladys all kinds of naked.
Rachel: (sees Chips phone number) Wow! Look at that, Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants?
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Joey: I lie better then that, right?
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Monica: Why would you do that?
Ross: Well, ??? think that�s us?
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Monica: That bastard taped over me! (Chandler's expression changes)
Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that.
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Monica: Oh, well... That had been your window.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
Chandler: Hey, you said that without gagging!
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.