words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Student: Ooh, dude. Thats not gonna happen.
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Rachel: Oh my God. And that works?!
Rachel: (looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Rachel: I am not gonna answer that!
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Rachel: How do you do that?
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Rachel: Well dont you have that big date tonight?
Joey: Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that thats exactly it. Youre right. Yeah.
Rachel: Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, thats him! Thats him! Thats Cujo! Thats Cujo!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Ross: Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit?
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Joey: Yeah, what's that like?
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
Chandler: How do you figure that?
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Monica: Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. Thats great. So how-how are things going?
Rachel: What?! We can't do that!
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
Phoebe: Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that.
Ross: (getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!
Joey: How good is that?
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Ross: I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: Okay, well, that Wow, okay, well, umm then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
Katie: You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Chandler: (pause) Yeah, you're right about that.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
MNCA: Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Chandler: Oh that is over!
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Ross: Wow, thats-thats-thats incredible.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Chandler: Well, uh, we can talk about that too Pheebs.
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
PHOEBE: Actually, it makes us feel that big.
Rick: Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?!
Chandler: Isn't that Ross's money?
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.