words in movies
Chandler: Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn!
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Frank Sr.: (Seeing the look on her face) Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.
Phoebe: That was my dad!
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Monica: You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Chandler: (falling into that trap) I don't like your massages.
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Frank Sr.: It really says that?!
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Sarah: Oh, that is so sweet..
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Monica: You could do that!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Rachel: (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
Rachel: Dont call us that! (Storms away)
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Monica: How-how did that happen?
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Director: That would work.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Ross: That guy, he burns me up.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: Thats right Patrick, bye-bye!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Monica: And that would be?
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Actress/Olivia: That kiss never happened.
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Joey: Yeah, isnt that a cool name?
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Chandler: Thats sweet.
Rachel: Look at that!
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Monica: Yeah! I didnt know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!
Ross: Did that guy just call you Toby?
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Monica: That is so unfair!
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Chandler: Well thats not fair, youve already had some!
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Chandler: Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)