words in movies
PHOEBE: [looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
MONICA: Give me that.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
EDDIE: Y-, y-, you like that show?
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
Ross: Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I dont think he-he knew what it was.
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Rachel: I am sorry, I don’t know, I am sorry, I don’t know why I did that!
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Monica: That cold makes you sound so great.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Monica: How does she do that?
Chandler: Nah-uh! I know you! Okay? I know the thoughts that you have in the head--in your head!
All: Oh! That was Lambchop!
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Joey: And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Monica: Oh that is so sweet!
Chandler: Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
Rachel: What's that?
Phoebe: That game should not be played without my supervision.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Joey: (now laughing a little) Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
Monica: Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
Joey: Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.
Chandler: Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Monica: I guess that makes sense. So, you think youre going to talk to him?
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Phoebe: Monica, you don't know that.
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
Rachel: What's that?
Monica: How, how did that happen?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Rachel: I know, but all that work youre doing to get it ready, I just (goes into her bedroom.)
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Phoebe: Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off!
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Chandler: How do you do that?
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Sarah: Oh, that is so sweet..
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Monica: You could do that!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Rachel: (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
Rachel: Dont call us that! (Storms away)
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Monica: How-how did that happen?
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Director: That would work.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Ross: That guy, he burns me up.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: Thats right Patrick, bye-bye!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?