words in movies
PHOEBE: [looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
MONICA: Give me that.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
EDDIE: Y-, y-, you like that show?
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real...
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Dennis Phillips: Oh my God, that was for my benefit?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Phoebe: That is nice and were done. TADA!
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Monica: Why did you do that?
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Ross: Smaller than that.
Phoebe: No, we hate that.
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, thats not gonna be me, not me.
Ross: No. That guy is.
Joey: Who was that?
Joey: Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Rachel: And that makes you angry because
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Rachel: Well, h-how is this like that?
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didnt know whether I should call or not, yknow I-I was only in town for a few days. And yknow, I didnt want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you andbut I didnt know if you wanted to see me.
Rachel: Oh my God. And that works?!
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Rachel: I am not gonna answer that!
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Rachel: How do you do that?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Rachel: How do you know about that story?!
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Rachel: Thats what I was gonna say.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Chandler: If that.
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: (checks his watch) We can still catch that Ukrainian film.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: (groans) That was a long night.
Rachel: Ohhhhh. Thats how it got fixed!
Monica: Oh, you had that?
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Ross: Anyway. Thats when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Rachel: Thats what you just said!
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Phoebe: I'm trying, but man that guy can push my buttons!
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!