words in movies
PHOEBE: [looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
MONICA: Give me that.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
EDDIE: Y-, y-, you like that show?
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
Monica: Yeah. Run ten blocks, thatll help the smell.
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Joey: That was one good minute!
MR. GREENE: Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
Monica: Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Tim: No-no really, was-was that not okay?
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
Ross: Hey, uh, you can ignore that.
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Chandler: Come on, let me see that smile.
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Rachel: Oh-oh, thats a risky little game!
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Chandler: Yes, I realise that.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet!
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Rachel: Ive never done that.
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Rachel: That is not a problem.
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Thats also like the tenth time you told us.
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Monica: (upset) That was a terrible throw!!
Ross: No, thats all right.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Joey: Really, a shower huh? And uh, which-which room might that be?
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Janine: (not sure of what to make of that) Okay.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Ross: What?! No! No! Thats-thats time-out!
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
Rachel: Okay, that is all you.
Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Joey: But what does that gonna do...
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Rachel: So you know, I I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought.
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Monica: She said that?!
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?