words in movies
Joey: (hearing Rachel and jumping up with his plate) Oh God! Thats Rachel!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Ross: Thats my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Chandler: Well, if were gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Yknow alphabetically or by genre?
Rachel: Oh yeah. That makes sense.
Monica: Yeah, like I dont know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on.
Rachel: Ooh, I can do that.
Rachel: Can you believe that?!
Joey: Thats crazy!
Rachel: Thats what I told him!
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Mona: No-no thats a mans shirt.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldnt be awkward!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
(A guy enters that looks suspiciously like Alec Baldwin from The Hunt for Red October, Pearl Harbor, and Beetlejuice.)
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Ross: Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat.
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Monica: It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Chandler: That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
Chandler: So, thats it?
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Monica: No you didnt. Oh and honey just so you know, now that youre marrying me, you dont get to win anymore.
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
Erica: No... he killed his father with a shovel. (Monica and Chandler's jaws drop) But other than that, he's a great guy.
Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I cant. We dont have that....
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Joey: Let me see that!
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? Thatll really work up your appetite for lunch.
Ross: Thats right!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
Chandler: Thats a hernia.
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Phoebe: Oh, howd that happen?
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Monica: It doesnt say that!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Joey: Nope, not that one.
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
CHANDLER: I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
Chandler: Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope thats okay.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Monica: Oh, we're not doing that. Okay
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Chandler: That is true.
Rachel: Ohhh, I-I would enjoy that!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Monica: Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again?