words in movies
Joey: (hearing Rachel and jumping up with his plate) Oh God! Thats Rachel!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Ross: Thats my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Chandler: Well, if were gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Yknow alphabetically or by genre?
Rachel: Oh yeah. That makes sense.
Monica: Yeah, like I dont know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on.
Rachel: Ooh, I can do that.
Rachel: Can you believe that?!
Joey: Thats crazy!
Rachel: Thats what I told him!
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Mona: No-no thats a mans shirt.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldnt be awkward!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
(A guy enters that looks suspiciously like Alec Baldwin from The Hunt for Red October, Pearl Harbor, and Beetlejuice.)
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Phoebe: Oh!! Thats my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Phoebe: Who was that?
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Rachel: That sounds great.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Rachel: Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter.
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear...
[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Ross: Is that so?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Ross: Okay, I didn't know you would say that.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Rachel: Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight.
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Chandler: That was Joey!
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Monica: Oh good, Im glad thats catching on.
ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Joey: Thanks so much, Pheebs! (to the dog) We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! (the dog sticks his head between Joeys legs) Oh! Not that kind of fun.
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: That new mountain bike?
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Ross: (notices the table) HeyOoh! Whats-whats that, dinner stuff? You making dinner?
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Phoebe: Oh-oh, thats your thing.
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Rachel: Whoa-oh, what's-what's that? (Points.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
Rachel: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.