words in movies
DR. REMORE: I know you do but you and I can never be together that way.
CHANDLER: God that is good TV.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
EDDIE: What was that?
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
EDDIE: Yeah alright, that sounds alright.
CHANDLER: That was so lame.
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
CHANDLER: What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
EDDIE: That's good man, when everybody knows that the uh, the capital of Cambodia is uh...
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
JOEY: No. No way, I'm not signing that.
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
RACHEL: Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Ross: You cant do that!
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: (looking) Is that a swing?
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Rachel: (going out the door) Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps, right?
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Joey: Thats weird!
Joey: Thats kinda hot.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Chandler: My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
Monica: That cant be your father.
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Phoebe: Thats great Joe!
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Policeman: Thats right.
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Monica: Thats much better.
Phoebe: David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Phoebe: That play?
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Monica: That other play?
Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows that coffee comin, dear?
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa)
Monica: What is that?
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Phoebe: Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Ross: He left that.
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Whitney: Im gonna work on that.
Monica: How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Chandler: Yeah. Youre right. Hey I-I can do that.
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
Chandler: Im going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
The Director: Watch again that hand.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, "Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more."
Jennifer: That damn monkey.
Conan: That damn monkey.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
Joey: Oh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, thats weird!
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.