words in movies
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Rachel: That is seven days!
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Ross: Thats my gym.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
The Food Critic: I dont see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Monica: Thats right.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Ross: that you actually
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Monica: Yes that would be lovely.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Ross: You cant do that!
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: (looking) Is that a swing?
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Rachel: (going out the door) Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps, right?
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Joey: Thats weird!
Joey: Thats kinda hot.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Chandler: My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
Monica: That cant be your father.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Phoebe: Thats great Joe!
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Policeman: Thats right.
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Monica: Thats much better.
Phoebe: David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Phoebe: That play?
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Monica: That other play?
Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows that coffee comin, dear?
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa)
Monica: What is that?
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Phoebe: Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Ross: He left that.
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Whitney: Im gonna work on that.
Monica: How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Chandler: Yeah. Youre right. Hey I-I can do that.
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!