words in movies
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
The Director: Watch again that hand.
Courtney: Oh! Okay! Im gonna try it without the coffee cup cause I think its the left hand thats messing me up.
Lisa: Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thats your fault. I say.
David: Ahh! Sh(Beep)it that hurt!
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Jennifer: That damn monkey.
Conan: That damn monkey.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
Matthew: Thats gross.
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Matt: And then sometimes during the show yknow but youre like, the scenes going one way but youre just tempted to say something another time. Like, do you remember that one where Monicas baking cookies in our old apartment?
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Ross: That tastes like feet!
Ross: That tastes like feet!
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Conan: Youve done over 150 episodes, but your favorite moments that 80 years from now youll be thinking about?
David: That is too much!
Matthew: Let me start that again.
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Woman: What does that mean?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
Phoebe: Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Monica: I heard that!
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
JULIE: That saves us a conversation.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Ross: Thats excellent.
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
Monica: That was me.
Ross: Thats okay.
Monica: Thats okay.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on?
All: Oh thatd be great. Sure!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Chandler: No, no, no, you say that proudly.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Ross: I would never do that!
Mark: Wh-what's that?
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
PHOEBE: Come on, like you never talk that.
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Monica: I cant answer that! Chandlers my husband.
Rachel: Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't...
Mona: Yeah, I-I think I suggested that.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Joey: (panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?