words in movies
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
The Director: Watch again that hand.
Courtney: Oh! Okay! Im gonna try it without the coffee cup cause I think its the left hand thats messing me up.
Lisa: Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, thats your fault. I say.
David: Ahh! Sh(Beep)it that hurt!
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Jennifer: That damn monkey.
Conan: That damn monkey.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
Matthew: Thats gross.
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Matt: And then sometimes during the show yknow but youre like, the scenes going one way but youre just tempted to say something another time. Like, do you remember that one where Monicas baking cookies in our old apartment?
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Ross: That tastes like feet!
Ross: That tastes like feet!
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Conan: Youve done over 150 episodes, but your favorite moments that 80 years from now youll be thinking about?
David: That is too much!
Matthew: Let me start that again.
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Ross: Thats not really porn.
Ross: I'd lead with that.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Rachel: Because Im married. Thats right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV stars apartment to have an affair! Uck!
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Ross: Wow. What does that mean?
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Monica: Oh... what does that mean?
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: Oh, I'll take some of that.
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Chandler: And err, he informed me that uh, she took the news rather badly, in fact, he uh, mentioned the word frenzy.
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
[Scene: Ben and Joey's (Isn't that an ice cream??) callback.]
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Monica: All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Chandler: How do you feel about that?
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Joey: That... never happens...
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. (She leaves them to wrestle.)
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: Wow. Umm Huh I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
Ross: Youre not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!
Monica: I'm not always that bad!
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Rachel: Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head!
RYAN: [Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mits on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: I knew that was him!