words in movies
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Chandler: So, thats it?
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Thats laughter.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Thats very funny!
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Chandler: Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
Rachel: (seeing the ring and gasping) Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Yknow what goes good with that?
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
Phoebe: Oh, come on! Yes, remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! (Realizes) Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.
Phoebe: Not that often!
CHANDLER: Whoa! Don't know about that.
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah I got that.
Monica: Thats right.
Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
JOEY: Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Eric: She, now I knew that and now Im sweating. Look at me, Im really sweatingNow Im saying, "Look at me," Im getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go.
Monica: No thats, thats okay.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Joey: Okay thats fair.
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
Richard: I think thats fair.
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
MONICA: Joey that is horriable.
Rachel: Umm, when were you gonna tell me that youre going out with Chip Matthews?
Monica: No, that landed in your food!
Joey: I was afraid of that.
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
Monica: Thats true.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Rachel: Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
Chandler: Oh, I got some thoughts on that.
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Chandler: Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.
Chandler: Aw, don't do that
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo!
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You thought about that?
Paul: I would really like that. (They kiss.)
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!