words in movies
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Chandler: So, thats it?
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Thats laughter.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Thats very funny!
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Chandler: Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Sarah: Oh, that is so sweet..
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Monica: You could do that!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Rachel: (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
Rachel: Dont call us that! (Storms away)
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Monica: How-how did that happen?
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Director: That would work.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Ross: That guy, he burns me up.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: Thats right Patrick, bye-bye!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Monica: And that would be?
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Actress/Olivia: That kiss never happened.
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Joey: Yeah, isnt that a cool name?
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Chandler: Thats sweet.
Rachel: Look at that!
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Monica: Yeah! I didnt know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!
Ross: Did that guy just call you Toby?
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Monica: That is so unfair!
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Chandler: Well thats not fair, youve already had some!
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Chandler: Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.