words in movies
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Chandler: So, thats it?
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Thats laughter.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Thats very funny!
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Chandler: Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real...
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
Chandler: Yknow, that party wasnt bad.
Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Dennis Phillips: Oh my God, that was for my benefit?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Phoebe: That is nice and were done. TADA!
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Monica: Why did you do that?
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Ross: Smaller than that.
Phoebe: No, we hate that.
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, thats not gonna be me, not me.
Ross: No. That guy is.
Joey: Who was that?
Joey: Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Rachel: And that makes you angry because
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Rachel: Well, h-how is this like that?
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didnt know whether I should call or not, yknow I-I was only in town for a few days. And yknow, I didnt want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you andbut I didnt know if you wanted to see me.
Rachel: Oh my God. And that works?!
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Rachel: I am not gonna answer that!
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Rachel: How do you do that?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Rachel: How do you know about that story?!
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Rachel: Thats what I was gonna say.
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Chandler: If that.
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: (checks his watch) We can still catch that Ukrainian film.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: (groans) That was a long night.
Rachel: Ohhhhh. Thats how it got fixed!
Monica: Oh, you had that?
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Ross: Anyway. Thats when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Rachel: Thats what you just said!
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Phoebe: I'm trying, but man that guy can push my buttons!
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
RACH: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time.
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.