words in movies
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Rachel: And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Joey: (opening bedroom door) Hey, that coupon expires, you know.
Cheryl: Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out.
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
Monica: Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Rachel: Well, I dont know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Phoebe: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? Thats too heavy.
ROSS: What, what's that?
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
ROSS: That audition.
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
JOEY: No. No way, I'm not signing that.
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Monica: I know! Ill tell you something, we are gonna do that again!
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
CHAN: OK, look, that is one guy's opinion, alright. Phoebs, read yours.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
Monica: Wow! Youre a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was youre trip?
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Chandler: Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
EDDIE: That's good man, when everybody knows that the uh, the capital of Cambodia is uh...
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Joey: Hey, youre the one that loves the picture.
Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.
CHANDLER: That, that is funny. Can I have it back?
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: No! No. Dont do that, just next time make sure she really likes me.
BIG BULLY: You got a problem with that?
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
CHANDLER: That was so lame.
Chandler: I cant believe you didnt tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty!
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good.
Joey: Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Mona: Oh good, youre here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Rachel: (knocking it down instead of catching it) That almost hit me in the face.
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Laura: (laughing nervously) I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed...
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey! (Sees that Monica's there.) Oh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?