words in movies
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Rachel: And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Joey: (opening bedroom door) Hey, that coupon expires, you know.
Cheryl: Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out.
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Ross: That is so unfair!
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Cecilia: Id love to, but my lawyer said I cant do that anymore.
Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off...
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Cecilia: Who told you that?
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Monica: What is that?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
The Porsche Owner: Hey! Thats my car.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control.]
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Joey: You know what you shouldve done, you should have told yourself that little story.
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
Ross: Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing.
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Monica: (overhearing that) Why don't you just go out with her!
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Ben: (laughs) Thats a good one.
Monica: That is true.
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Rachel: Oh that.
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Ben: Dont do that.
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Phoebe: No look, I-Im sure that people know you exist!
Monica: Honey? Is that something youre making up?
Rachel: That is the most ridiculous...
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
ROSS: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Chandler: Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.
Rachel: Ohh thats great!
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Cecilia: Oh that was a real person?!
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you? (He walks out)
Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...