words in movies
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Rachel: And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Joey: (opening bedroom door) Hey, that coupon expires, you know.
Cheryl: Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out.
Morse: Thats not so good.
Monica: What makes you think that I might not be okay?
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
RACHEL: That was fun Pheebs.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
Frank: It's not that weird, is it?
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Joey: (impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
Wendy: That was a nice pep-talk.
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinburg, youd never use that phrase.
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Joey: Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. (Thinks about it.) Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor
Hums While He Pees: Me too! Im sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
Monica: Yeah, is that okay?
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Wendy: Oh. - What's *that* like?
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Chandler: But we don't do that.
Phoebe: Hey, dont call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway!
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Monica: You thought about that?
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Phoebe: Aren't we done with that?
(Shortly after that, Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone?
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Chandler: (yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: Picturing that tree?
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Monica: Right there! That was so fake!
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
Monica: Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that�s Michelle.
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
Rachel: Whoa, how do you know about that?
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Chandler: I don't do that.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Rachel: Really? What's that like?
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Ross: That bad?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.