words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
Monica: Hey, what's that?
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Eeeee-(She opens the box and removes its contents and sees that it's a fur coat.)-ohh!! God! (She throws it at Joey.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Monica: What is that?
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
(He closes the door. Rachel's not happy with that and knocks again. He opens the door.)
Monica: Wow! That guy is so rude!
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Chandler: Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable.
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Rachel: And stop saying that! I hate that!
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Danny: Stop saying that. I hate that.
Monica: How did that happen?
Rachel: That yeti is one smooth talker.
Phoebe: Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Monica: That noise you just made?
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Monica: Oh honey, is that cause your Mom died around Christmas?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Chandler: Well, I did not know that.
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Rachel: Oh thats right! Im sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!
Monica: All right Rach, for what its worth, I think that youre doing great. I mean yknow lets face it, no one handles this well.
Chandler: No, you shNo you said you made that up!!
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Paul: I get that a lot.
Monica: Thats the couch.
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Phoebe: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Ross: That was different!
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Mr. Simon: Why wasnt I offered that? Id definitely pay more for that.
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
RACHEL: Come on, they were not that huge.
Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
Kristen: Oh Id like that.
Monica: Oh thats great!
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Chandler: Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so great!
Monica: Phoebe, that stuff is
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Paul: Im so happy that youre here.
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Tommy: Oh, I didnt, I didnt know that.
Monica: Joey that is so sweet.
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Phoebe: Rachel said that!
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Chandler: Oh, that was my work laugh.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Rachel: Isnt that a kind of sushi?
Monica: Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.