words in movies
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Joey: That would be Casey. Were going out tonight.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?
Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, thats right, the keyboards, huh?
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Kathy: (entering) Hey! (sees whats on TV) Oh God, is that Baywatch?
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Kathy: No, but thats bad!
Kathy: Can you really do that?
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Chandler: That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Rachel: I know, I remember that!
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Joey: Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, thats why I let people watch.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Phoebe: After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. (She leaves them to wrestle.)
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: Wow. Umm Huh I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
Ross: Youre not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!
Monica: I'm not always that bad!
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Rachel: Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head!
RYAN: [Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mits on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: I knew that was him!
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Ross: That depends, how much did you hear?
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
RACH: Oh yeah, c'mon, I'm movin' on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Phoebe: So what?! That doesnt give you the right to ditch me!
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Joey: Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.
C.H.E.E.S.E: You can say that again Mac.
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Monica: Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Mrs. Green: No dear, thats what babies do.
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?
Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
Phoebe: Alright, so that leaves Chandler.
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Bill: What? Where did you hear that?
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldnt work. My husbands in concert.
Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!
Rachel: Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala.
Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Rachel: I was just going to say that I left my keys.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!