words in movies
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Monica: Did she really say that?
Phoebe: (looking around) Whos cell phone is that? Its just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Ross: Thats not really porn.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Rachel: Yeah that would really be great.
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? Thatll really work up your appetite for lunch.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Phoebe: Really? Thats the thing Im worse at! Youll see. (Exits.)
Chandler: And yet you dont recognize that youre crazy.
Chandler: You see that?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: Oh I dont know that it would.
Eric: Well if I didnt have sex with you, I had sex with someone that looked an awful lot like
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but its wrong. Youre married.
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Isnt that great?
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Ross: I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: Okay, well, that Wow, okay, well, umm then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
Katie: You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Chandler: (pause) Yeah, you're right about that.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
MNCA: Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Chandler: Oh that is over!
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Ross: Wow, thats-thats-thats incredible.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Chandler: Well, uh, we can talk about that too Pheebs.
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
PHOEBE: Actually, it makes us feel that big.
Rick: Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?!
Chandler: Isn't that Ross's money?
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Phoebe: Oh!! Thats my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Phoebe: Who was that?
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Rachel: That sounds great.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Rachel: Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter.
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear...
[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Ross: Is that so?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Ross: Okay, I didn't know you would say that.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.