words in movies
CHAN: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: You got all that from saline solution?
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
RTST: Aren't you going to swallow that?
RTST: Yeah, isn't that great?
PHOE: No offense, but that sounds nothing like her.
JOEY: You could say that.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
CHAN: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
RACH: [coldly] When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
RACH: [to Monica] Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
Joey: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Joey: And thatll get rid of my wisdom?
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Phoebe: God, that is the nicest kitchen.
Phoebe: Now, that's trash. Young lady, you can't (The lady ignores her and walks off.) Hey! Stop that young lady, she donated trash!
Paul: That was so good. (Starts crying again.)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Chandler: (from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
Rachel: Hey uhm, do you remember that one really great time...?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head.
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Rachel: Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our apartment back?
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Monica: Oh good, I hate it when you do that
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Frank: What, you dont think I know that?
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Joshua: Yknow, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Ross: I like that.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Phoebe: Ohh, thats too bad!
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
Monica: Wow. That is not a happy hi.
Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Monica: We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.
Frank: Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knights ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Phoebe: But people that you don't know and will never see again.
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
CHAN: Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I love that but.
MONICA: That was amazing!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: (makes a sound like a monkey) That noise can only me one thing.
The Doctor: Thats it.
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Erica: No! (To Monica) You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing.
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.