words in movies
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Will: That was such a fun night!
Ross: Awoh, thats right. Are-are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Joey: (quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?
Will: Oh, youd like that wouldnt ya?
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Ross: Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I dont think he-he knew what it was.
Ross: That was in high school! Its not like it was binding forever.
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Will: Well, we did a little more than that.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Monica: You started that?!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Ross: Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now. So-so that ones not really our fault.
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Monica: Thats not totally true.
Monica: Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Joey: Whoaheywh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is!
Gary: No. But that reminds me, (handing back a clipboard) sign this.
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
Ross: Oh my God! You did that yourself?
Joey: Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her!
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can�t get enough.
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
Monica: Now, that you can do.
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Chandler: Well, that can't be good!
Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that?
Chandler: Did that movie ever get made?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Monica: Isn't that cute?
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Passenger #1: Uhm, what was that?
Chandler: That was... Impressive.
(She notices that everybody is leaving.)
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Monica: Look, I know that I shouldve told them. I know I shouldnt care what they think. Im sorry.
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is notthats-thats not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. Its-its, theyre-theyre wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdales, so And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
EDDIE: Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Joey: Oh wow thats a great idea! And I still have his credit card.
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
Chandler: Oh, you're definately not. I haven't cried like that in years.
Chandler: I know. See, yes. Thats Yasmine Bleeth, shes a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
David: Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done.
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
Krista: We'd better take these pants off upstairs or that stain's gonna set.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Rachel: Oh God, that's right. I blocked that out.
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Sandy/Grumpus: And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink?
Chandler: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didnt agree to that!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Monica: Aww, sweetie, but its not like youre not gonna have anything. Youre gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways thats even better.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
Dr. Oberman: Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Rachel: Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, yknow what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.