words in movies
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Will: That was such a fun night!
Ross: Awoh, thats right. Are-are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Joey: (quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?
Will: Oh, youd like that wouldnt ya?
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Ross: Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I dont think he-he knew what it was.
Ross: That was in high school! Its not like it was binding forever.
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Will: Well, we did a little more than that.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Monica: You started that?!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Ross: Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now. So-so that ones not really our fault.
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Monica: Thats not totally true.
Monica: Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Joey: Whoaheywh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Rachel: I can't believe you would say that!
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Both: We can't do that. (They separate.)
Monica: What was that?
Phoebe: It's nice that he has someone.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
CHANDLER: (hushed) No, no, no, no, no.� Joey can't know that I'm here.
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
Joey: Dont answer that.
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
Rachel: All right, I like that.
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Ross: I didnt give her that ring!
Chandler: Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Chandler: [mocks that last comment].
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.
Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Phoebe: That was my dad!
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Joey: Oh, that poor bastard.
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Rachel: Say more things like that.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Frank Sr.: It really says that?!
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Ross: Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?! Why? Why would you do that?!
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Monica: Wow! That guy is so rude!
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
ROSS: If you wanna call that a reason.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
RACHEL: OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater.
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Monica: You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
Chandler: Oh, y'know I-I can't hear that enough.
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.
Chandler: You didnt get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
Emily: Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Monica: Thats not funny.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we we gotta be careful. We we cant let that happen again, yknow?
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know