words in movies
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Minister: You may kiss the bride.
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
(Emily gives him a forearm shot across the stomach.)
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Chandler: The mans got a point.
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, yknow?
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didnt get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, theres a whole cart outside (Sees the Walthams and stops.)
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: Hey, Monica, wow youve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
Joey: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Joey: All right, Im gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, itll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Joey: No, no, no! (Starts looking around the room, terrified) Don't drop by, don't drop by!
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
Monica: A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Rachel: Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa)
Phoebe: But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
[Thus starts another series of flashbacks all dealing with the pressure the rest of the Friends have to deal with in their jobs. The first flashback is from The One With The Stoned Guy.]
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Mr. Geller: Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought wed see what all the fuss is about.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Mike: Maybe, before the game we could enjoy some eight year old some small batch Basel Hadens.
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
[Time lapse, inside the store, Monica is frantically looking for her dress.]
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
(the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings")
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
Monica: No, only because that's the graduation song.
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
[There was no closing scene, only a preview of the wedding.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are watching the game.]
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
(She heads to the bathroom and Joey sits back down.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Rachel: Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go?
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(He leaves the gang in stunned silence.)
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Boy in the Cape: Id rather have the money.
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
The Dry Cleaner: Ive never seen it!
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Hooker: Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. (Does the close sign.)
(Ross points to the explanation and he gets it.)
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.