words in movies
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Minister: You may kiss the bride.
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
(Emily gives him a forearm shot across the stomach.)
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Chandler: The mans got a point.
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, yknow?
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didnt get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, theres a whole cart outside (Sees the Walthams and stops.)
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: Hey, Monica, wow youve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
Joey: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Joey: All right, Im gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, itll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Rachel: Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Rachel: Okay. (She climbs back onto the couch.)
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Chandler: Here you go. (Hands her the money.) Now stop bringing us pizzas you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Monica: No, you said the baby creeps you out.
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
(Outside the Central Perk)
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Paul: (whispering) Okay. (Starts for the car.)
[Scene: The Spa Reception. Phoebe walks in]
(Charlie comes out the bathroom)
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: Im sorry. Im sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. (She heads for the bedroom.)
[Cut to the guys]
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
(Monica and Chandler reach the group)
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
[Monica looks around the hallway, pulls out a sponge and starts scrubbing the door frame.]
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Monica: Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer?
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet.
Rachel: It's not the time Charlie.
Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Chandler: I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop?
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Ross: (turning around and dragging the chalk down the board) What?!
Joey: No, in Ross's building! (He throws Rachel onto the chair and heads to the window.) She's back! She's back! (Pantomimes) Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. (He counts where she is again.) Got it! (Runs out and does a little hot over a chair.)
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
(they just look at her for a moment; then they go back to checking the tickets)
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
(There is a knock on the door.)
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
(He walks over, but just before he knocks on the door, he hears some moans and looks shocked.)
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
(Rachel opens the drapes)
Monica: The sun is out!
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
(the paleontologist glares at Chandler)
Joey: The Metsss!
(all the paleontologists laugh)
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
(Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.)
[Scene: the hotel conference room]
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: All right! Well, uh... (to Monica) we're gonna hit the beach?
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.)
Phoebe: Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off!
Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show!
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]