words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Monica: Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Chandler: Sure, you guys dont have this problem, youre made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Ross: Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break. Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Ross: Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air
Chandler: Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
Chandler: We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la (mumbles something).
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
(There is a knock on the door.)
Monica: (opening the door) Hi Pheebs, whats up? (She enters.)
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Chandler: Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I dont care!
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about?
Monica: Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.
(Rachel ignores him and follows Monica into the kitchen.)
Monica: Its all everybody at the party could talk about!
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
The Smoking Woman: Yeah I can, it worked real well.
The Interviewer: Okay, how about when youre not working. What do you do in your spare time?
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Elizabeth: Shut the book!
Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, (Gives her the time-out signal.) honey, okay?
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
Monica: Oh its umm, good! It's umm, its good, just here watering the plants.
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
Chandler: Oh well, we dont because we got the other pl-place.
(The chick and the duck walk into the living room.)
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Joey: Look, Ill come to the party but Im not dressing up.
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Ross: Whats-whats the difference?
(The party falls flat. Chandler tries to think of a witticism, but even he can't help...)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
All: (they all recoil from the smell emanating from him) Oh! God! Wow!
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Monica: (to the bartender) Thank you.
EDDIE: No help required Chico. [reaches into the tank and grabs the fish and puts it in his pocket]
[Time lapse. Chandler runs out of the bathroom.]
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Joey: Yknow what? Bring her both, and Ill have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
Chandler: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing! What's the movie about?!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look for the hidden meaning songs.
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Ticket agent: And the destination?
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Monica: You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
[Cut back to the present.]