words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Monica: Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Chandler: Sure, you guys dont have this problem, youre made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Ross: Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break. Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Ross: Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air
Chandler: Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
Chandler: We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la (mumbles something).
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
(There is a knock on the door.)
Monica: (opening the door) Hi Pheebs, whats up? (She enters.)
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Chandler: Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I dont care!
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about?
Monica: Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.
(Rachel ignores him and follows Monica into the kitchen.)
Monica: Its all everybody at the party could talk about!
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
Phoebe: What? You know about the plate thing?
(Rachel enters from the main door)
Chandler: Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Sha-la-lap. (Awkward silence ensues.) Seriously.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Tommy: Ooh, I dont know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass.
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Chandler: Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!!
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
(The agency guy enters the room)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
[Scene: A Street, Ross walks past Tag wearing the same red sweater.]
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Sarah: What? what is the matter with you?
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Joey: (to the torte) Stop staring at me!
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Danny: so we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here (His sister) forgets the camera!
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
(Ross puts the piece back on the plate)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, Im gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water.
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler bangs the table in frustration.)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
Cecilia: Oh that explains all the womens underwear.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Rachel: Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.
Joey: What the hell are you doin'?
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
(from 1.07 - "The One With The Blackout")
(from 1.18 - "The One With All the Poker")
(from 3.09 - "The One With All the Football")
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
The Guys: We will. (they don’t move)
Colleen: It's pretty much all the information you need.
(from 5.08 - "The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks")
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Ross: Don’t blame the questions!
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]