words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Monica: Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Chandler: Sure, you guys dont have this problem, youre made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Ross: Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break. Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Ross: Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air
Chandler: Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
Chandler: We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la (mumbles something).
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
(There is a knock on the door.)
Monica: (opening the door) Hi Pheebs, whats up? (She enters.)
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Chandler: Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I dont care!
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about?
Monica: Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.
(Rachel ignores him and follows Monica into the kitchen.)
Monica: Its all everybody at the party could talk about!
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Rachel: Youre never leaving the apartment!
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine]
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the girls are having breakfast.]
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Ross: so how'd the date go?
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Ross: I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse.
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Ross: What happened to the Disgustingtons?
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Monica:: what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night
Phoebe: Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring.
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
(There's a loud bang on the door.)
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Claudia: I�m sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Monica: (opening the door) Hey!
Joey: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…