words in movies
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job.
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
Monica: What's the matter?
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Max: We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
David: -make the decision-
(He thinks for a moment and sweeps the stuff off the table)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole)
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Max: It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy New Year.(Walks off)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Rachel: Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing.
All: (in the kitchen) What?
Rachel: The bll is drrbing!
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
(Bobby waves and then bursts into tears. Midnight comes and everyone at the party except for the gang cheers and kisses)
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.)
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Joey: No, Im performing the ceremony. Im not wearing a tux.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, the announcer is introducing the next presenter.]
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Monica: You used the Europe story!
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness!
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Monica: Relax! Youll be fine. (Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. Youre invisible now.
Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Aurora: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Matthew: Hey Joey! The camera hit our wall!
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Monica: Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
Chandler: Uhh Yeah sure. (Holds the camera up to his face.) Click!
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
[Scene: Green's mansion. Rachel's Room. Rachel's is combing her hair; Ross's coming into the room]
(Chandler does the same nasal sound to Chandler.)
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Ross: Well, how was the date?
(She sympathetically reaches out to fondle the inner thigh of his left leg.)
Chandler: (happily) Im off the list. (Sits on the couch.)
Nancy: So anyway I sent the designs over to Ralph and he's very excited about the line.
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
[Scene: Another restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve. Steve is the stoned restaurateur from 115 TOW the Stoned Guy.]
(Phoebe notices the Soapie on the counter.)
Rachel: Yeah, he thought he broke your chair so he switched the chairs!
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
[Scene: Elizabeth's apartment; Elizabeth is inquiring as to the delay in Ross's exit from her bathroom.]
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
[Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.]
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
Phoebe: I love the second grade!