words in movies
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job.
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
Monica: What's the matter?
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Max: We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
David: -make the decision-
(He thinks for a moment and sweeps the stuff off the table)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole)
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Max: It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy New Year.(Walks off)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Rachel: Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing.
All: (in the kitchen) What?
Rachel: The bll is drrbing!
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
(Bobby waves and then bursts into tears. Midnight comes and everyone at the party except for the gang cheers and kisses)
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
[Scene: Ross's building's lobby, he and Rachel are about to attempt to take the couch upstairs.]
Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
Eric: (finds it) What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
(In the kitchen.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Rachel: Okay. (Closes the door.) Walked right into that one didn't he?
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Ross: Thanks for the help, problem solved. (Wipes his hands.)
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Monica: The fake kind!
(He leaves and she closes the door.)
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
Dan: I see the head.
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Rachel: I just y'know, I didnt expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb)
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Rachel: I want the little round waffles.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
(They all run over to the window.)
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Danny: The pizza-place across the street any good?
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Chandler: Oh, I'm going on the lamb.
Rachel: Im sorry, sweetie. (shows her the flyer)
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
[Cut to the guy's apartment.]
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-IHey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
Rachel: High-five, the babies are coming! (They all high-five.)
Joey: Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
PBS Volunteer: Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man.