words in movies
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job.
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
Monica: What's the matter?
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Max: We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
David: -make the decision-
(He thinks for a moment and sweeps the stuff off the table)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole)
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
Max: It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy New Year.(Walks off)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Rachel: Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing.
All: (in the kitchen) What?
Rachel: The bll is drrbing!
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
(Bobby waves and then bursts into tears. Midnight comes and everyone at the party except for the gang cheers and kisses)
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Ross: Ok, got the vent open.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Joey: No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left.
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
Joey: He should take the sack?
JOEY: [sits down] Ohh yeah, that's the stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
(Rachel and Sophie both back out and close the door without saying anything.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
MONICA: The head tilt?
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
JANITOR: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
[Scene: Back in the restraunt. Rachel pours the last of the champange bottle in her glass.]
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Rachel: So, um, will you bring the truck?
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Whos the father?
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
[knock at the door]
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
(The whistle blows.)
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details.
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
FRIEND: Well, you kids take the train in?
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Kim: You didnt cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?
Ross: Okay. All right. So lets see, lets play from the trash can, to the lightpost. Right. Two hand touch, well kick off.
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Joey: No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Ross: The screaming guy?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
(The other four look amazed at the large pot.)
Rachel: No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
(Joey enters through the side window and jogs towards the kitchen holding a baseball bat)
Eric: Im an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.
Steve: Yeah, he's the handy man. He's gonna be retiring next week and everyone who lives here is kicking in a 100 bucks as a thank you for all the hard work type of thing.