words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
(They get to the main stage)
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Janine: Thats it, feel the rhythm. Thats better.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
(The director shakes his head.)
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we havent done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, hell wanna build us our own platform!
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Janine: In the moment, yeah.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
The Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: (entering) Im just going to grab the phone.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Rachel: (tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
Chandler: Im sorry, I guess I just like the pulp.
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.
Monica: (noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch) Rach? What are you doing?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Parker: Isnt this the most incredible fight youve ever had in your entire life?
Monica: In the beginning where yknow its all sex and talking and sex and talking and
JANITOR: Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...
Ross: (going onto the patio) Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay?
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Kate: Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie.
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Phoebe: See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss.
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Ross: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
(All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.)
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
CHANDLER: Alrighty. [we see Chandler's pants drop from under the stall door]
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
Pete: I told you, were adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Joey: Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
(Joey and Rachel reach the landing just as Chandler closes the door.)
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Monica: Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble.
[Scene: The Museum of Prehistoric History (Ross's work); Ross is in the break room eating lunch as his boss, Dr. Leedbetter walks in.]
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: Okay, okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]
Frank Sr.: (Seeing the look on her face) Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary).
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Ross: You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?