words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
(They get to the main stage)
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Janine: Thats it, feel the rhythm. Thats better.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
(The director shakes his head.)
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we havent done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, hell wanna build us our own platform!
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Janine: In the moment, yeah.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Chandler: Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
(The game resumes.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Joey: Uhh, the ball thing.
Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
(The AD walks away wiping his face.)
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
The Casting Director: Okay, anytime.
Gary: Here's the thing.
Emily: I did. Now I'm the idiot.
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
(They throw the ball back and forth once.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to
[The first clip is from The One Where Rachel Finds Out.]
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
The Man: I'm making change. I need change for the bus.
Carl: Exactly! And you just know I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Chandler: Let me see the earrings.
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Chandler: Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
Joey: Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
The Doctor: You brought a carrot.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]