words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
(They get to the main stage)
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Janine: Thats it, feel the rhythm. Thats better.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
(The director shakes his head.)
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we havent done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, hell wanna build us our own platform!
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Janine: In the moment, yeah.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
Ross: Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize?
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
The Teacher: Are you with one of the students?
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
The Flight Attendant: Miss? May I help you?
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Monica: The ones we had right after you almost threw up.
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Ross: Aww, Pheeb, come on isnt there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
Jen: I forgot my paper. (Ross quickly hides the card in his mouth.)
Joey: Okay. (leaves as the phone rings)
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Phoebe: (saddened) It's okay. What the hell took you so long?
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
(They assume the starting position.)
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Phoebe: Yeah... The woman you what?
[Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously]
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Ross: The card! I think were there!
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Monica: Because Armadillos also wandered in the desert?
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
RACH: So, how was the party?
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is hard at work.]
Doug: So why cant the three of us go out together?
Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
Rachel: Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)
(Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, thats not gonna be me, not me.
Chandler: Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: (notices something) Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was (makes a humming noise.)
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
[Scene: The Roof, continued from earlier.]
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Joey: (barely audible through the pain) Thank you.
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Joey: Rach, youre killin us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Chandler: (To Monica) Should we call the spitter?
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]
Monica: Or this one! (She grabs and starts to open the biggest present.)
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Boy in the Cape: This isnt fair.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.