words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
(They get to the main stage)
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Janine: Thats it, feel the rhythm. Thats better.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
(The director shakes his head.)
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we havent done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, hell wanna build us our own platform!
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Janine: In the moment, yeah.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
Chandler: What is the thing?
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, Im-Im happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Monica: (seeing her) Okay, lets go!! Lets hit the road!!
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Jester: Nobody sees the king!
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
[Cut back to the TV, the cops are leading Dr. Wesley out, and as they pass Remoray and Wesley exchange evil glances.]
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
JOEY: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies.
JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks.
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
Monica: Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!?
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Monica: I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
PHOEBE: Are you the cutest?
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
The Doctor: (seeing theyre not identical) But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
(The oven timer pings again.)
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Joey: No, no, no! Its real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! Im up for a Soapie!
Rachel: (hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me!
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
(Monica runs into the kitchen from the terrace.)
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
Rachel: And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa.
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Monica: What? (Monica sees the first couple and gasps.)
[cut to later, Rosss team has the ball.]
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
Chandler: Well, lets just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Joey: All right, but in the future...
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
Monica: After the snap!
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Monica: Because the winner gets this!
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Ross: Okay, where in the hell did you get that?!
Maitre D�: Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? (she turns again) Miss!
Rachel: Down at the docks again?
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.