words in movies
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
(We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.)
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Monica: Honey, whats the matter?
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.]
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: What is the worse part?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Monica: No honey, Im sorry, but the weekends not over yet.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Chandler: Will you excuse me I have to um..... (walks to the hall)
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Rachel: (getting of the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
Rachel: Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down.
(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
All: To the Bings!
(They go onto the set.)
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
The Director: Action!
Richard: I found the picture!
CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
The Director: Cut! Wonderful!
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Chandler: (to the Maitre d') Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please? (Laughs.)
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
The Director: What?!
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Phoebe: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Monica: So the going for help went well?
The Director: Lets take it from there.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Susan: Oh, I wouldnt miss it for the world.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Frank: Cause it just sorta happened, yknow we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
CHANDLER: No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.
(They both go out into the hall.)
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Ross: Then where the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
Monica: Wait, you cant have the baby here! I mean I havent sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Rachel: (angrily) GIVE ME THE BOOK! (she takes it and start reading) Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"?
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
(they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Ross: Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
Catherine: Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent.
Chandler: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Rachel grabs the cheesecake and they take off upstairs.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
The Director: Watch again that hand.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
The Director: Once again, and action!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Rachel: Yeah, we ended up spending the day together and had such a great time!
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same