words in movies
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
(We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.)
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Monica: Honey, whats the matter?
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.]
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: What is the worse part?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Monica: No honey, Im sorry, but the weekends not over yet.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Chandler: Will you excuse me I have to um..... (walks to the hall)
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Rachel: (getting of the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
Rachel: Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down.
(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
[Time lapse, inside the store, Monica is frantically looking for her dress.]
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
(the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings")
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
Monica: No, only because that's the graduation song.
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
[There was no closing scene, only a preview of the wedding.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are watching the game.]
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
(She heads to the bathroom and Joey sits back down.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Rachel: Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go?
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(He leaves the gang in stunned silence.)
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Boy in the Cape: Id rather have the money.
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
The Dry Cleaner: Ive never seen it!
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Hooker: Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. (Does the close sign.)
(Ross points to the explanation and he gets it.)
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Boy in the Cape: You cant tell me to shut up!
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.
(The interviewer watches her leave with an Oh my goodness face.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]
Monica: Howd the lecture go?
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Monica: Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month!
Phoebe: Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami?
(Ross panics and falls off, dropping to the ground with a huge crash.)