words in movies
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
(We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.)
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Monica: Honey, whats the matter?
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.]
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: What is the worse part?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Monica: No honey, Im sorry, but the weekends not over yet.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Chandler: Will you excuse me I have to um..... (walks to the hall)
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Rachel: (getting of the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
Rachel: Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down.
(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Chandler: Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer.
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
Joey: Argh-argh!! (Catches the coat.) Ooh, soft. Is this mink?
Tim: Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
Monica: The second sister dies?!
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Male Jeweler: (to the female jeweler) Wheres the 1920s princess cut ring.
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Joey: Joey. (They shake hands.) Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
The Fireman: Theres a reset button under the plastic cover.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Chandler: Yeah, I just ordered a beer! (Pounds the table.)
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Rachel: Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases.
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Policeman: Can he handle the stick?
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
The Cigarette Smoking Guy: (No, not the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files.) Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
(The policeman walks up.)
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Waitress: (to the woman) $4.50 please.
Chandler: That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place!
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Phoebe: David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Chandler: The young hot ball and chain.
The Chorus Line: Amen!
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is sitting at the couches, Chandler enters.]
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Phoebe: The movie?
Rachel: The commercial?
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Rachel: Yeah! You-you got the job! Youre my new assistant!
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
Chandler: Were the Bings.
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Phoebe: Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?
Chandler: Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging.
(She sees Monica sneaking out) Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! (Runs out, knocking over the mike stand)
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
All: To the Bings!
(They go onto the set.)
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Richard: I found the picture!
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?