words in movies
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Chandler: You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
Chandler: Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Joey: Oh, but hey look, at least let us bring the wine.
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Phoebe: (sees the table) Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it?
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Yknow? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Rachel: Uh, its from yore. Like the days of yore. Yknow?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Ross: Well why not?! Shell-shell love it! Its the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn.
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Phoebe: Okay. HeyOoh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)
Phoebe: You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
(They exit and close the door.)
Monica: (from the hallway) I do not like that woman!
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Ross: Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way.
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Rachel: see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
Ross: A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!
Phoebe: Oh, come on! I think hes ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Janine: Wait! (Janine pauses, then runs down the stairs.)
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
CHANDLER: You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car [passes the dollar back].
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
RACHEL: At the Copa, Copa Cabana (everyone joins in) The hottest spot north of Havana. At the Copa, Coo-pa Ca-ban-a, music and fashion were always the passion, at the Copa....
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
Kathy: (opening the door) Hey.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
(The girls are stumped)
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
RACHEL: What was the book?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
[Scene, The Park: Phoebe and Rachel are getting ready to go running]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
Joey: From now on, its gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake hands.) Okay! Were gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
The Doctor: What do we got here?
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. (she leaves the room)
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Cashier: (looking at the completed address card) Oh, I love your neighborhood. Theres a great gym right around the corner from your building.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
ROSS: What, the word hi?
MNCA: Bobby and I are going away for the weekend, remember?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey's having breakfast; Phoebe enters the room carrying her wedding dress.]
RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?
Phoebe: Youre thing. Youre thing. Yknow? Youre the guy who gets divorced.
[Rachel and Tag go into the hall.]
Rachel: Sure, Ill just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
Rachel: You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
(from 1.09 - "The One Where Underdog Gets Away")
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
RACHEL: What's the matter with you?
Chandler: I cant believe you didnt tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty!
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Monica: Oh, my mom called, theyre gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so were looking for a good picture of us.
Chandler: (entering, very upset) Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!! (he shoves him out the door)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Phoebe: (checks) I never get calls!! (Answers the phone) Hello?
Joey: Listen also were uh, were watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over.
[Everyone gasps. The show ends.]
Professor Spafford: If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom. (he goes away)
RACHEL: What's the matter?
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
RACHEL: Why the voice.
MONICA: Ross, the heat!
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)