words in movies
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Gunther: For all the free food you gave away.
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Phoebe: What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
Monica: How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Chandler: Well that was before all the vaporizing action.
Chandler: Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Rachel: Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
(There is no credits scene, just a preview of the next couple of episodes.)
Rachel: I think he's across the hall.
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
(The intercom buzzes.)
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?
(She rolls the dice, but one bounces out of the table.)
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and hes saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Chandler: I wanna quit the gym.
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Monica: (entering from her room) Phoebe! (Motions for the earrings. Phoebe gives her the one-minute sign.)
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Joey: Question. Was ah, Egg the Gellers! the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
The Doctor: Thats it.
Phoebe: Oh I know, Ive been there. I remember toward the end
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
Joey: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Chandler: Wow! Just like in the pros.
Monica: So, we did okay at the strip club, right?
Ross: (Answers the phone.) Hello?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
The Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!
Joey: All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.
[Scene: Airport. Madonna's Take A Bow plays in the background as Rachel waits at the gate with flowers.]
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Monica: Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets.
Emily: So why did you plan a party at the same time?
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: You got it. Come here. (They hug and are observed by the hooker.)
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
Mr. Waltham: In a moment, please, Im in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.
(Joey closes the door behind her.)
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Monica: Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready...
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Monica: Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff.
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)