words in movies
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Gunther: For all the free food you gave away.
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Phoebe: What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
Monica: How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Chandler: Well that was before all the vaporizing action.
Chandler: Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Rachel: Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
(There is no credits scene, just a preview of the next couple of episodes.)
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Monica: Rachel locked the door.
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
[Scene: The airport, the flight to Yemen is being called.]
Phoebe: No-No! You need your sleep. Night-night! Shh! (She closes the partition.)
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
PHOEBE: No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
Precious: I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now?
Joey: Sure! Where are the seats?
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
Chandler: Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Rachel: Oh right, cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks.
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Hillary: Would you like to move over to the couch?
Monica: Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Joey: Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that its better if were on the same team.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Ross: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.
(She heads for the kitchen door and just after she goes through the door )
[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
Joey: Now go! Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from youre secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.)
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
Phoebe: Im so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see youre play. I swear youre play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. Youre play is the next play is the next play Im gonna see.
Chandler: Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves.
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Monica: Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies! (She goes to the attic.)
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Phoebe: Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
Rachel: You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
Joey's Co-Star: Drake, Ive discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
(Marcel points the remote at Monicas television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish.)
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Monica: Eww!! (Throws the bucket down.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Joey: All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Tour Guide: Oh, he wont sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, (Points to there table) and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Frank: Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Monica: I just had the most amazing bath.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)
Joey: (taking apart the invitation) Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! Youre at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation."