words in movies
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Gunther: For all the free food you gave away.
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Phoebe: What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
Monica: How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Chandler: Well that was before all the vaporizing action.
Chandler: Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Rachel: Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
(There is no credits scene, just a preview of the next couple of episodes.)
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Chandler: Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
(The game resumes.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Joey: Uhh, the ball thing.
Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
(The AD walks away wiping his face.)
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
The Casting Director: Okay, anytime.
Gary: Here's the thing.
Emily: I did. Now I'm the idiot.
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
(They throw the ball back and forth once.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to
[The first clip is from The One Where Rachel Finds Out.]
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
The Man: I'm making change. I need change for the bus.
Carl: Exactly! And you just know I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Chandler: Let me see the earrings.
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Chandler: Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
Joey: Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
The Doctor: You brought a carrot.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!