words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I dont know where his country is.
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
(Phoebe puts the globe right up next to her eye to try and find the country.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Chloe: Relax. Its just Issacs D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come.
Chandler: All right, rock on. (Does the Hang 10 sign, then hides his face in shame.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, Im looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what Im wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) Were holding.
Ross: Well you said you couldnt go out so.... (pulls the cover off of the basket)
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Im sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebodys off the phone, how bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
(Ross starts to pack up the picnic in anger, and throws a three hole punch in the basket.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: But I told you, I didnt have the time!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Chandler: And thats the only colour that comes in.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
Rachel: (jumping up to answer the phone) Hello!
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Yeah, Im fine.
[Scene: The Philly.]
Chandler: Hey, this isnt like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Mark: Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?
[Cut to The Philly.]
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
[Scene: The Restaurant, after dinner.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Rachel: (picks up the phone and calls Ross) Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, youre not home.
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
(They start singing, and Phoebe covers her mouth at the American part.)
Sergei: (to the rest of Central Perk) Everybody!! (In his language, and continues.)
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
(Ross makes an "I was right, and you werent face." And Rachel does Rosss little Im-flicking-you-off-but-Im-not-giving-you-the-finger banging of the fists.)
Rachel: (seeing the collection of characters.) Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunnys funeral in here.
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Ticket Agent: (Slides the twenty back and tosses her credit card onto the counter.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
The Saleswoman: Did you cut this couch in half?
Chandler: Oh hey, how'd the interview go?
(A strange woman sticks her head out from a third changing cubicle to the far right)
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
The Grip: These got left for ya. (He hands him a bunch of helium balloons.)
Elizabeth: No, let's just leave the lights on.
Chandler: No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk.
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
Monica: Who the hell are you?!
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Monica: The only problem!
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?!
COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: Can't get the monkey off your back? Then put it in your mouth...
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
(Rachel turns for the door and makes the "Wow!" face.)
Chandler: So, shouldnt we go give her the benefit of the doubt before we go snooping around her crotch?
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
The Flight Attendant: (To Ross) Hope you had a nice flight.
Woman: Someone was in the lady's room, I couldnt wait. I left the lid up for ya though.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Monica: The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!
Chandler: Oh, the mixed tape.
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
The Instructor: Thanks.
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
Monica: (seeing the decision) Nooooo. Youre really not going?
The Instructor: What?!
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
The Saleslady: Were closing.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
Monica: Youre on the phone!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Rachel: My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Mr. Treeger: What in the name of hell?
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Rachel: Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
(They both stare at the newborn.)
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]