words in movies
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
[Scene: The Philly.]
The Next Morning
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Monica: Hows the big anniversary dinner?
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Phoebe: The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its easy grab tab and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!
Monica: Now, are you glad we didnt start with the bikini strips?
[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, were never leaving, ever.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Phoebe: No, not the used wax.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, theres one piece left.]
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
[We see the rest of them are now crying.]
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Phoebe and Leslie: (singing) Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time Ill.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.
EDDIE: At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Joey: (stands up, and throws his coat on the floor) Im Joey! Im an actor! I dont know squat about dinosaurs!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Ross: Are we off the bridge?
Rachel: No! Come on its late, were not gonna go down to the office.
[Monica goes to the stove.]
[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
CHANDLER: By the way, this didn't seem so dorky in the hall.
BIG BULLY: Ok, nothing from the neck up. [everyone gets ready for the fight] Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating.
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Monica's Boyfriend: Yknow what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.
Rachel: Good, good, good, good, good. (She runs to the drums and gets the sticks)
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
The Cute Guy: (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Joey: Yeah. Well, so far yeah. But it's tough you know? I got all this built up flirting energy and I don't know how to get rid of it. (Gives Chandler the "Joey-love," look.) How you doin?
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Rachel: Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever!
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler enters. Rachel and monica are seated at the table.]
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
The Interviewer: Well umm, another thing our readers always want to know is how our soap stars stay in such great shape. Do you have some kind of fitness regime?
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
MONICA: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel.
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachels old and now empty room.)
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....