words in movies
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
[Scene: The Philly.]
The Next Morning
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Monica: Hows the big anniversary dinner?
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Phoebe: The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its easy grab tab and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!
Monica: Now, are you glad we didnt start with the bikini strips?
[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, were never leaving, ever.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Phoebe: No, not the used wax.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, theres one piece left.]
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
[We see the rest of them are now crying.]
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
(At the same time.)
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
EDDIE: Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry.
The Girls: You put your balloons down!!
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, Im going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, Im going to do the whole city.
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Ross: I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I I really miss downstairs.
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Monica: So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Chandler: So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up'?
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Ross: (exhaling) The fear of Triscuts!
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
(the computer bing, bongs)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Chandler: You mean the spitter?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
CHANDLER: [singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Rachel: Yeah, so lets get started on the wedding plans!
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
[Scene: The Bings�. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone�s knocking at the door.]
Joey: Well, the duck
[Scene: Outside the restaurant, Melissa, Phoebe, and Rachel are emerging.]
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
(They go into the hall.)
Chandler: No, the little girl creeps me out.
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
Jake: All right. Bye. (Backs out the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Phoebe: Ok, this is not about the MONEY, ok? It's about... it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Chandler: (To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Ross: Oh whats the big deal?! I wasnt even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and yknow what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then well-well leave early as a sign of protest.
(Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot)
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.