words in movies
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
[Scene: The Philly.]
The Next Morning
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Monica: Hows the big anniversary dinner?
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Phoebe: The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its easy grab tab and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!
Monica: Now, are you glad we didnt start with the bikini strips?
[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, were never leaving, ever.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Phoebe: No, not the used wax.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, theres one piece left.]
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
[We see the rest of them are now crying.]
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Ross: Yes, and the dimmer switch.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Monica: What is the worse part?
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Monica: Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: (interrupting) No! No, I wont! Ill be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists.
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Billy: Whats the matter?
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
[cut back to the gang.]
[cut to the gang]
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it?
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
The Guys: Pete?!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
Dr. Zane: Okay, itll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Monica: Yeah, but without the costumes.
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Monica: To the bank.
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
Monica: (from the bathroom) Im in the shower!
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding?
Ross: The one with the cat. I gotta go, Ive got another date.
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Ross: Im-Im gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
Joey: Yeah, maybe its like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
(Monica gets up and shuts off the TV.)
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Chandler: (to Janice) Dont look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!
Ross: Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesnt count.
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]