words in movies
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Joey: Hey! (he throws the basketball against a table again)
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND!
Joey: (he stops Chandler from posting the message) No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him!
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
[Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel and Emma are sleeping; Joey sneaks in and approaches the crib]
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Joey: It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy.
Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Monica: What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Joey: Make the transfer! (She does so)
Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it?
Rachel: Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
(Someone knocks on the door)
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
Rachel: Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
(Monica is getting up from the couch)
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Mike: It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Strange man: (he bounds into the house) I knew you'd be here!
Manny: What's with the kissing?
Manny: Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
Monica: You didn't hear the speech!
Manny: I've heard the speech: (in a mocking voice) "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... "
Manny: (looking at the sofa) Where did they go?
(someone knocks on the door)
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
(Chandler and Monica go open the door)
Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps (he goes in the bedroom)
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Chandler: (entering, very upset) Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!! (he shoves him out the door)
Chandler: Ok! (shuts the door behind Tom)
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
(Chandlers opens the door. A beautiful woman stands at the doorway.)
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)
ERICA: Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter).
Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. Shes wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Joey: Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Chandler: (to Gunther) Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, Im-Im talking to ah, (tries to get her to say her name). (to her) This is the part where you say your name.
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
The Saleswoman: I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.
Chandler: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Joey: Because! Youre mean on the boat!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
MNCA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Rachel: Okay that is the one we already have!
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Rachel: Come on, just answer the question!
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
Phoebe: No Im not okay. The only guy Ive ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never I may never see him again. (Crying.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!