words in movies
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.
Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?
(Marcel puts a CD in the player.)
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Monica: Well, what's the job?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]
(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
(The guys all duck under the table.)
Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen...
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
(Ross gets up from the table.)
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Ross: Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. (lays down cards)
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Ross: Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the...
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
(The other four look amazed at the large pot.)
Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, all six are playing Pictionary at Monica's apartment. Monica is drawing a picture, and the three guys are guessing. She draws what looks like an airplane.]
Monica: (pointing at the drawing, upset) Bye... bye... BIRDIE.
Rachel: OK, OK, it's my turn. (reads the answer)
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
Monica: But still, its a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
(She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.)
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Kate: You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, youre just so, youre so, so (She passes out and slumps against his shoulder.)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Rachel: Did you watch the tape?
Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7"
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Cliff: Id have to say the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that youre making me eat him.
Joey: Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goodys sale is over?!
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
(The commercial:
Phoebe: Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Charlie: Did you get the grant?
(A Chinese woman getting off the plane drops one of her bags. Ross gets off next.)
Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Rachel: (yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Phoebe: Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky?
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
[Scene: The Telethon, Joey's phone rings and he answers it.]
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
Luisa: (Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Chandler: Whats the second part of your plan?
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Chandler: Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Monica: I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Mike: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back.
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
(She slowly grabs the chains of the swing, swings her hair back, and sits down.)
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.