words in movies
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?
PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.
PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers.
RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind.
ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due.
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.
CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey goes up to the bar to order.]
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
EDDIE: I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, it's kinda out of the blue, I mean don't you think?
CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
EDDIE: No help required Chico. [reaches into the tank and grabs the fish and puts it in his pocket]
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks.
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
ROSS: You're livin' the dream.
ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?
JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.
ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?
MOVER: Uh, the dog. [points to a big poecelain greyhound]
JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though.
CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
EDDIE: [enters] Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's.
EDDIE: So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal?
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?
CHANDLER: I, I'm sorry, I uh [unchains the door and opens it all the way] I already have a roommate. [Joey turns around in the leather recliner]
EDDIE: Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry.
CHANDLER: See ya. [shuts the door] Goodbuy you fruit drying psychopath. So you want me to help you unpack your stuff?
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
CHANDLER: So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog.
(Ross goes outisde on the balcony.)
Brenda: Okay. Uhh, Im gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back Ill clean behind the refrigerator.
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Chandler: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away!
[Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.]
Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy.
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Chandler: (reading the list) Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought theyd brighten up the place. They do dont you think?
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
(They both throw the scripts in his face.)
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: What's the thing you know?
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Exactly! Because it's in the past!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Rachel: Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. (She grabs a couple of the old pizza boxes and exits.)
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Pete: Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. Whats the thing?
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
(The woman groans, moans, grunts, and screams. Chandlers eyes get huge!)
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Chandler: I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile".
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Ross: Oh waithold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.]
Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)
(They all stand a moment in silence, staring out of the window.)
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Chandler: You put your fist through the wall?
Ross: Well you said you couldnt go out so.... (pulls the cover off of the basket)
Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
(Joey falls backwards into the room)
Chandler: So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?