words in movies
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
The Singing Man: Oh come on! Mornings here! (Starts singing) Mornings here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(They open the door.)
Rachel: Let us keep the apartment and
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
[Cut to the girls apartment.]
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
(The gang is stunned.)
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Rachel: Youre never leaving the apartment!
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine]
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the girls are having breakfast.]
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Ross: so how'd the date go?
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Ross: I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse.
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Ross: What happened to the Disgustingtons?
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Monica:: what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night
Phoebe: Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring.
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
(There's a loud bang on the door.)
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Claudia: I�m sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Monica: (opening the door) Hey!
Joey: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.