words in movies
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
The Singing Man: Oh come on! Mornings here! (Starts singing) Mornings here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(They open the door.)
Rachel: Let us keep the apartment and
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
[Cut to the girls apartment.]
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
(The gang is stunned.)
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
Ross starts playing with a plate: Woah. Woah... <nearly really drops the plate and more seriously> Woah.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Monica: Okay. Man, I have not made this many cookies since I was in the ninth grade.
Ross: Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think yknow if we if Youre wearing the ring.
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.)
Monica: (looking through it) Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Monica: What about the closeness?
Ross: In the closet.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is watching the Civil War videos]
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Rachel: The diapers?
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
Rachel (she flips the coin): Ha, tails!
(Emma continues crying in the background)
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
DELIVERY GUY: I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Ross: Joey, give me the bag.
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Ross: What is the matter with you?!?
Chandler: The Sooner State, whatever that is.
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
The Interviewer: Now, off the record, youre not
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
Chandler: Oh, is that against the rules?
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Rachel: Youre never leaving the apartment!
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine]
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.