words in movies
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
The Singing Man: Oh come on! Mornings here! (Starts singing) Mornings here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(They open the door.)
Rachel: Let us keep the apartment and
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
[Cut to the girls apartment.]
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
(The gang is stunned.)
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Rachel: (hanging up the phone) I got the job!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Ben: (singing) Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer...
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
Joey: The vicar!
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Chandler: Oh, so youre going with the teacher, huh?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Ross: Oh... (to the others) Little heads-up would have been nice.
Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Rachel: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
(The phone rings.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Phoebe: What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!
Paul: I wanted to be one with the waves, yknow?
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
[Scene: The hospital. Rachel is pouring her self a cup of coffee. Ross approaches from behind.]
Monica: It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it.
Phoebe: Did you find the dress?
Phoebe: No that's just me coughing! (Doing some weird coughing noises and the dog barks again. Phoebe comes out of the room.) Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
Larry: Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations! I'm shutting this place down!
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Cheryl: Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side)
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Alice: (running in from the elevator) Am I too late?!
[Cut to the inside of the apartment.]
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Rachel: Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)
Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
(Inside the apartment the phone rings.� Ross answers it.)
Monica: The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, is tied up alongside the pier; Joey and Rachel are relaxing.]
Chandler: That's perfect! That's brilliant! (Starts going through the photo album)
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Ross: Well, the lighting was okay.
Ross: It wasnt the best.
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Rachel: Its the same story.
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang, except Rachel, is watching a new singer.]
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Monica: (handing Phoebe the dress) Go! Go! Go!
Joey: A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldnt schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!
Rachel: Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
(There is a knock on the door.)
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
[Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.]
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
Chandler: And look how happy the mom is now!