words in movies
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
The Singing Man: Oh come on! Mornings here! (Starts singing) Mornings here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: Those were like the best seats ever.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(They open the door.)
Rachel: Let us keep the apartment and
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
[Cut to the girls apartment.]
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
(The gang is stunned.)
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
Gary: Okay, I'll see you at the station later.
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
[Sequence 2: Monica runs upfield and stops, waiting for a pass. Ross runs over and pulls her pants down, steps in front of her and intercepts the pass.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
CHANDLER: I can't believe the guys missed this.
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Ross: Green. To the green.
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God. (on intercom) Call me on the phone!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Phoebe: (to the director) Merci. Au revoir. (Translation: Thanks, goodbye.)
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Joey: Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
Ross: Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
[The next flashback is from The One With Rachel's Crush.]
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.]
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. <throws hands out in the air>
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
Ross: and the miracle was that that little bit of oil that shouldve just lasted just one day, burned for
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?
The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife!
Supervisor: Im the supply manager.
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Phoebe: No, no, Im fine, and yknow why? Cause of all the riboflavin.
The Waitress: She says its to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
[Time lapse. The gang is around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
(The lights dim.)
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Ross: Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.]
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?