words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
(Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Bill: We went through the same thing when we were adopting.
Colleen: It's pretty much all the information you need.
Colleen: Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back.
Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
Chandler: That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book?
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Chandler: I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.]
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
(The oven timer pings again.)
(He goes back to the kitchen.)
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
(The triplets stare at him.)
THE END
(Ross goes outisde on the balcony.)
Brenda: Okay. Uhh, Im gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back Ill clean behind the refrigerator.
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Chandler: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away!
[Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.]
Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy.
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Chandler: (reading the list) Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought theyd brighten up the place. They do dont you think?
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
(They both throw the scripts in his face.)
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: What's the thing you know?
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Exactly! Because it's in the past!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Rachel: Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. (She grabs a couple of the old pizza boxes and exits.)
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Pete: Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. Whats the thing?
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
(The woman groans, moans, grunts, and screams. Chandlers eyes get huge!)
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Chandler: I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile".
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Ross: Oh waithold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.]
Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)
(They all stand a moment in silence, staring out of the window.)
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Chandler: You put your fist through the wall?
Ross: Well you said you couldnt go out so.... (pulls the cover off of the basket)
Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
(Joey falls backwards into the room)
Chandler: So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?