words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
(Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Bill: We went through the same thing when we were adopting.
Colleen: It's pretty much all the information you need.
Colleen: Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back.
Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
Chandler: That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book?
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Chandler: I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.]
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
(The oven timer pings again.)
(He goes back to the kitchen.)
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
(The triplets stare at him.)
THE END
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
(they all jump up excitedly and try to see the ticket)
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
(Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house)
Dina: Loosening the saddle on mothers horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired.
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
[The next one is from Episode 604: The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance.]
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
(the actress slaps him)
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
[Scene: Outside the restaurant]
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister Ill let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
Phoebe: (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so softhello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Chandler: Just give us the cheapest room you have.
(Goes over and picks up the remote.)
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
Joey: Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had.
Ross: Listen, I um I heard about the engagement.
Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
(Chandler enters the room)
Ross: Nice, put it with the others.
Kathy: You really didn't have to. (Opens the box) Wow.
Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute.
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)
Monica: My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
Ross: There's something new in the bowl.
Ross: It's not the same.
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
[Scene: In the hall]
Monica: In the hall.
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
Joey: The hardware store is right down the street.
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
PHOEBE: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does."
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Chandler: As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that Im going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do.
Ross: I've lost the will to live.
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
The Dry Cleaner: Yes, it was very offensive to my people!
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
[Scene: The Roof]
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Chandler: Where the hell is everybody?
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.