words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Chandler: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Chandler: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
(They go back into the living room)
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Phoebe: I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.
(The Hombre man enters.)
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
Ross: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Chandler: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
Joey: Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.
Store Guy: All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Store Guy: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?
Annabelle: (seeing the end result) My god, what happened?
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Chandler: Oh, so youre already doing your part for the kids.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Rachel: The lights, please..
Ross: (Gasps and speaks at a higher pitch) This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Joey: When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Joey's Look-A-Like: Hey Mon! Hey Chann! (He goes to the fridge) Just gettin a soda! (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Okay. (Goes to take a bite out of the previously mentioned bagel.) Whoa! (Stops.) I almost forgot this was on your
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Monica: (running in from her bedroom) Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! (opens the door) Hi, Tim.
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
Monica: Thank you!(she looks at the 3rd customer waiting for a compliment) You haven't said anything...
Monica: Its the salts.
David: Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, yknow, next time youre in Minsk umm
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Chandler: Nah-uh! I know you! Okay? I know the thoughts that you have in the head--in your head!
CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie.
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry.
Chandler: Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
(The intercom buzzes.)
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
The Cooking Teacher: Ah Monica, my star student.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
MNCA: [getting the wine] Do not start without me. Do not start without me.
The Cooking Teacher: (tasting the cookie and with her mouthful) Oh, yum-yum-yum. (Hands the star back.)
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.
Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.
Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Ross: And then Rachel wasn�t sure she could leave the baby.
Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and its not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Aunt Lisa: Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Joey: What's wrong with the twentieth?
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
Photographer: Why dont we have Monica step away and well get Chandler and the bridemaids.
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago.