words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Chandler: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Chandler: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
(They go back into the living room)
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Phoebe: I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.
(The Hombre man enters.)
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
Ross: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Chandler: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
Joey: Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.
Store Guy: All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Store Guy: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?
Annabelle: (seeing the end result) My god, what happened?
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
PBS Volunteer: Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man.
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Jill: My God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth) That better?
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Ross: (entering, with the rest of the gang) What's going on?
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
JOEY: [dials the phone] It's a woman.
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
[Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing at the door.]
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Monica: All right, look at my on the back page.
Rachel: The ring from the cave, yeah.
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
CHAN: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Chandler: Because of the weekend, we had a fight.
(Chandler makes it into the bowl.)
Phoebe: Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story!
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
(The real Wedding March begins playing from behind the closed doors of the chapel.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Frank: I dont know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I dont know.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
(He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.)
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Ross: C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time!
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.]
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Danny: Yeah, what's the gala for?
Rachel: Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know.
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Monica: Wow, what's the bad news!
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
The Teacher: If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
[Cut to a shot of the coliseum in Rome, Italy.]
[Scene: Barry's office, Rachel is doing her makeup in the mirror on Barry's lamp as Barry enters.]
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)