words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Chandler: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Chandler: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
(They go back into the living room)
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Phoebe: I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.
(The Hombre man enters.)
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
Ross: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Chandler: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
Joey: Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.
Store Guy: All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Store Guy: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?
Annabelle: (seeing the end result) My god, what happened?
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]
(The next couple enters.)
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: Hey, hows hows the uh, miracle chair?
The Stripper: Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours?
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Cliff: Are all the questions this personal?
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Joey: Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Monica: He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, theyre brining in yet another woman.]
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Chandler: Not the disposable cameras from the tables.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Ross: In the death seat?!!
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Monica: Whats the matter?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
Chandler: Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile!
(The rest of the gang arrives including Parker.)
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Phoebe: Okay! All right, let's start with the handshake. Hi.
Chandler: I am strong! Ill show you! (He sits down at the table.)
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
Chandler: Then, I might as well � (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Later in the day.
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
Ross starts playing with a plate: Woah. Woah... <nearly really drops the plate and more seriously> Woah.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)