words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Chandler: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Chandler: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
(They go back into the living room)
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Phoebe: I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.
(The Hombre man enters.)
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
Ross: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Chandler: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
Joey: Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.
Store Guy: All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Store Guy: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?
Annabelle: (seeing the end result) My god, what happened?
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Gary: Okay, I'll see you at the station later.
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
[Sequence 2: Monica runs upfield and stops, waiting for a pass. Ross runs over and pulls her pants down, steps in front of her and intercepts the pass.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
CHANDLER: I can't believe the guys missed this.
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Ross: Green. To the green.
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God. (on intercom) Call me on the phone!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Phoebe: (to the director) Merci. Au revoir. (Translation: Thanks, goodbye.)
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Joey: Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
Ross: Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
[The next flashback is from The One With Rachel's Crush.]
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.]
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. <throws hands out in the air>
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
Ross: and the miracle was that that little bit of oil that shouldve just lasted just one day, burned for
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?
The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife!
Supervisor: Im the supply manager.
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Phoebe: No, no, Im fine, and yknow why? Cause of all the riboflavin.
The Waitress: She says its to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
[Time lapse. The gang is around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
(The lights dim.)
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Ross: Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.]
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.