words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Chip: (on machine) Good runnin into you at the bank today, so ah, heres my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later.
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Ross: (reading the newspaper) Hey, heres a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?
Chandler: Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land.
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Rachel: You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?!
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Monica: What, that little thing at the prom?
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
Rachel: (stunned) Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Monica: Why cant you use the phone in here?
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Tony: You gotta take the canoe!
Chandler: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away!
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times hes wrong.
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
Monica: Oh my God! You still have the Chipper!
Chip: The what?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Chip: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.
Monica: You still work at the multiplex?
Rachel: Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Ross: (entering) Hey! So ah, what did the insurance company say?
Ross: Hi! Listen uhh, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all over the place.
Rachel: Im sorry, sweetie. (shows her the flyer)
Ross: No! No! LookHey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Rachel: So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
The Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: (entering) Im just going to grab the phone.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Rachel: (tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
Chandler: Im sorry, I guess I just like the pulp.
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.
Monica: (noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch) Rach? What are you doing?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Parker: Isnt this the most incredible fight youve ever had in your entire life?
Monica: In the beginning where yknow its all sex and talking and sex and talking and
JANITOR: Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...
Ross: (going onto the patio) Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay?
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Kate: Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie.
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Phoebe: See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss.
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Ross: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
(All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.)
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
CHANDLER: Alrighty. [we see Chandler's pants drop from under the stall door]
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
Pete: I told you, were adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Joey: Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
(Joey and Rachel reach the landing just as Chandler closes the door.)
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Monica: Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble.
[Scene: The Museum of Prehistoric History (Ross's work); Ross is in the break room eating lunch as his boss, Dr. Leedbetter walks in.]
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: Okay, okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]
Frank Sr.: (Seeing the look on her face) Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary).
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Ross: You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?