words in movies
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
PHOEBE: What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?
RACHEL: That's not the end.
PHOEBE: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony]
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
RACHEL: Wow, he must like you the best.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
CHANDLER: You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car [passes the dollar back].
CHANDLER: There's the man.
JOEY: He-he-eyy. [Shakes his had and passes the dollar]
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
MONICA: Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys.
CHANDLER: You hear that? We're the guys.
JOEY: We're the guys.
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
MONICA: So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in.
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
CHANDLER: Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
RACHEL: What was the book?
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen, Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
MONICA: Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
PHOEBE: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does."
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table.
MONICA: [grabs the other two bars on Richard's side and scores] Score! Now can we go?
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
ROSS: Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail.
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
ROSS: What, the word hi?
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Ken: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet".
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
Phoebe: (Thinks for a moment.) Aw, dammit! (Slams the phone down.)
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Rachel is returning from her date with Dave.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?
Rachel: (taking the brush back) Okay. Lets use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
DR HORTON: Hard day huh? First the medical award, this.
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Rachel: And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?!
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Rachel: Y�guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?
Monica: Yknow what, lets do the catering business.
Monica: All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Rachel: Wh Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldnt stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin together?
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Joey: Oh-ooh, thats the turn-on.
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
RACHEL: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Dr. Green: Ross? Whats with the neck?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Joey: Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania.
Joanna: Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)
JOEY: (listens at the door.)� No.� (pause) All right, I'm going in.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.]
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Ross: Chandler, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie..
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
[Cut to Central Perk, the entire gang is there.]
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Monica: Pass the cheese, please.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Chandler: Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross and Rachel enter on stage.]
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
Chandler: Yes, yes, we had the sex.
Monica: Hey-hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, thats right, the keyboards, huh?
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
Monica: Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau...
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Rachel: Uh.. okay, sure! Thanks! (She hands him the broom and sits down.)
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Ross: Thanks. (kisses her on the lips)
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone. Rachel walks in and overhears the conversation.]
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Chandler: How much did I love The King and I? (Oh, you get the point by now.)
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
ROSS: You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.