words in movies
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table.
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Phoebe: Oh. Uh, I'm on. (picks up the phone)
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Most likely. (raises and goes toward the door) Okay, I'm gonna be out there.
(The intercom buzzes)
Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Rachel: Could tonight be the Night?
Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Ross: 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.'
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Young Ethan are sitting in the couch.]
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
[Time lapse. They are now in Monica's bedroom, on the bed.]
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Monica: But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are.
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Rachel: No, it was just the three of us.
(Monica enters, wearing a walkman, so she doesn't hear what the others say)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Phoebe: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza.
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Young Ethan: Then, what's the problem?
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
(They go to the bathroom again)
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)
Ross: I'm having... I'm having a baby. (jumps back onto the table again) I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone?
Rachel: I don't know where the phone is.
(Ross runs from the table, over the couch but slips and falls onto the floor)
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross is eagerly waiting for the others to get ready, to go to the hospital.]
Ross: Yeah, save it for the cab, okay.
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Joey: For the ride.
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.]
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Stanley: Eh, worth a shot. (Gets into his car.) Look Joey, let me know where you're staying, okay? (The car peels away.)
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Phoebe: Come on Mon, let her throw the ball.
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
[Scene: Mike's parents house, the dining room. Mike, Phoebe, Mike's parents and the Angles are there.]
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
The Director: And Action!
The Director: All right, from the top.
Phoebe: But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor.
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.
The Director: Action!
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Joey: (making like he is yelling up to the second floor) Im coming up!
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. (he gets up and goes into the kitchen)
Chandler: Okay, great. (He grabs the remote and turns on the TV to the chase.)
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Monica: What the hell are you doing?!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? Thatll really work up your appetite for lunch.
Joey: Well, at the Christmas party him and Santa did some definitely gay stuff!
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
The Porsche Owner: I live upstate.
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Rachel: (counting the place settings) How come we have one extra place setting?
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
ROSS: OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex?
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
RACHEL: Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering with a man.]
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: (sets the coffee down) Y'know, breadstick fangs are always funny.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots.
Joey: Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car?
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Chandler: Y'know what, hes right. Theres something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain.
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Monica: But the mess!
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think.