words in movies
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Joey: I dont know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: I dont have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Monica: Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: In the game room!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back (Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and taped a square outline on the floor.)
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Rachel: All right, well the place was closed. Ill just copy it later.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for another interview.]
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
The Potential Roommate: Hi!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
The Potential Roommate: Great!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
The Potential Roommate: String?
The Potential Roommate: Kitten?
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But thats all right, heres the number you can call.
Rachel: Not unless different means the same.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Chandler: Check out the ring.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
The Dry Cleaner: I did.
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Chandler: Why would the baby creep me out?
The Woman: I own this store.
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd.]
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
(Monica enters from the bedroom.)
Kim: Kenny the copyboy.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Chandler: Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Joey: The allergy guy got the part! Thanks!
[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Monica: ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman.
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Megan: Oh, youre so lucky. My fiancee wants the heavy metal band Carcass.
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Chandler: Look, Im telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross and Julie are setting the table.]
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Sarah: No. The one in Atlantic City, Dad loves the slots. He says hes gonna double the college money my Grandma left me.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
(Joey does the 232 divided by 13 bad news look.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Joey: (entering the bathroom) What are you guys doing in here?
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
[Scene: Phoebes cab, its the same arrangement as before.]
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
Ross: Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Matt: Sometimes the dialogue itself is just so funny and youllwell be rehearsing during the week and you justwhatever-whatever the joke is; its so funny we cant get through it in rehearsal and just
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
ESTL: Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? [a knock on the door] Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Paolo: Ah, you... have the sex?
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
(At the same time.)
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
EDDIE: Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry.