words in movies
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Joey: I dont know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: I dont have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Monica: Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: In the game room!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back (Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and taped a square outline on the floor.)
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Rachel: All right, well the place was closed. Ill just copy it later.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for another interview.]
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
The Potential Roommate: Hi!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
The Potential Roommate: Great!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
The Potential Roommate: String?
The Potential Roommate: Kitten?
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
Phoebe: What? You know about the plate thing?
(Rachel enters from the main door)
Chandler: Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Sha-la-lap. (Awkward silence ensues.) Seriously.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Tommy: Ooh, I dont know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass.
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Chandler: Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!!
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
(The agency guy enters the room)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
[Scene: A Street, Ross walks past Tag wearing the same red sweater.]
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Sarah: What? what is the matter with you?
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Joey: (to the torte) Stop staring at me!
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Danny: so we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here (His sister) forgets the camera!
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
(Ross puts the piece back on the plate)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, Im gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water.
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler bangs the table in frustration.)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
Cecilia: Oh that explains all the womens underwear.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Rachel: Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.
Joey: What the hell are you doin'?
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
(from 1.07 - "The One With The Blackout")
(from 1.18 - "The One With All the Poker")
(from 3.09 - "The One With All the Football")
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
The Guys: We will. (they don’t move)
Colleen: It's pretty much all the information you need.
(from 5.08 - "The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks")
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Ross: Don’t blame the questions!
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]