words in movies
Ross: Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: We were gonna go see the Jets!
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Monica: He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!
Monica: How was the pediatrician?
Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.
Ross: Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
Chandler: (On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Sid: I still cant believe it! Im the luckiest guy in the world!
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Chandler: Is this because of the burrito thing?
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
The Director: Cut!
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Earl: Im actually the office manager.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Dr. Harad: Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz.
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
The Wedding Guest: Oh, I used to work with Frannie.
Ross: Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
Joey: (bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: (entering, dancing and singing) Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! (He dances around the dinner table and exits)
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
(The cute guys phone rings.)
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
The Porsche Owner: Hey! Thats my car.
Zoe: Shut the door! Shut the door!! (Runs over and closes the door.)
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
Guy: (he reaches into the car and slams his siren on the roof.) So am I!
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
(There is a knock on the door.)
PHOE: Ok, all right. We want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?
(They walk into the living room.)
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Monica: Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold.
(He goes to turn off a machine. Suddenly, Dr. Drake Remoray appears at the door with two cops!)
Joey: The airport?
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
(Matthew mimics the sound again.)
Ross: Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
(The whole party gathers round as Ross puts the box on the coffee table.)
Monica: All right, what about the third guy?
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Chandler: Okay, well tonights the big night.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Don: Well if you where ever enter the Loire valley let me know, Ive got a great little villa you can stay at.
[Rachel closes the drapes over the window, goes into her bedroom and closes the door.]
Ross: What? What? What?! You guys knew? (Joey and Rachel backup against the door.) You all knew and you didn't tell me?!!
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Ross: What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?