words in movies
Ross: Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: We were gonna go see the Jets!
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Monica: He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!
Monica: How was the pediatrician?
Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.
Ross: Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
Chandler: (On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)
Phoebe: Oh-okay, I get the game now.
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (goes over to the door.)
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
Joey: I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.
(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
(Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out)
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.]
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
[cut back to Joey on the beach towel]
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
(somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
CHAN: I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Rachel: Oh, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane.
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Doctor: And here it is! (The baby cries.)
Joey: (grabs the window from the outside and sticks his head in) (whispering) When is she leaving?
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
All: I dont have anything. (All of the rest of the women there hide their gifts behind their backs.)
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
(Joey walks in and moves towards Ross, who's sitting of the sofa)
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
Danny: So you like the short hair better.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little.
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
(Rachel is still at the restaurant, but Steve is gone.)
(Monica opens the door for Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Geoffrey.)
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Rachel: Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news!
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. Thats why I cant take this job.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Chandler: Oh, will you give me the thing. (Snatches the camera)
(Emily spins the bottle and once again, it lands on Joey.)
Phoebe: I love the license plate game!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
(He takes her hands in his and kisses each one, then kisses her on the lips. When the break the kiss, Rachel starts to get nauseous and throw up. Joey backs away in horror.)
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?