words in movies
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!!
Monica: Oh, my mom called, theyre gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so were looking for a good picture of us.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Thats the creep that youre with at the Statue of Liberty.
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Chandler: They have that on the napkins at the club.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Chandler: Okay. (Does The Face.)
The Photographer: Im sorry, is the seat uncomfortable?
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Hums While He Pees: Me too! Im sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: Ugh, okay Sherlock! (Hands over the key.)
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Whitney: (outside the door) Uh, your door isnt sound proof.
Tag: Oh yeah! We went to the Knicks game.
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Chandler: (awakens) Yeah! (Looks up and does The Face.)
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Rachel: Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas?
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Phoebe: Oh he knows! (Quietly) For the most part.
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Phoebe: Potato, Potaato. (Shes pronounces potato with the both the short and long As.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Monica: Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper!
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
[cut to the end of the play]
JOEY: Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh.
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Monica: How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!
All: Hang it up! Hang up the phone!!
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Man: Uh, the usher told us to come
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
The A.D: Calm down, we got time, were running a little late.
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
RACHEL: Agh, it was the graduation from hell.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.]
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Isabella: Come on! (grabs the list)
Chandler: Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Ross: Yes, and the dimmer switch.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Monica: What is the worse part?
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Monica: Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: (interrupting) No! No, I wont! Ill be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists.
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Billy: Whats the matter?
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
[cut back to the gang.]
[cut to the gang]
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it?
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
The Guys: Pete?!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
Dr. Zane: Okay, itll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Monica: Yeah, but without the costumes.
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Monica: To the bank.
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?