words in movies
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn�t get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven�t been together the six of us in such a long time.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Claudia: I�m sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
[Scene: The Bings�. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone�s knocking at the door.]
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Monica: (opening the door) Hey!
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I�m feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.
Chandler: (still backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences.
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Ross: Oh, what were the other two?
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.
[Scene: The Bings�.]
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?
Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?
Chandler: Then, I might as well � (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Ross: Okay, well the ??? is not home.
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
Ross: Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Maitre D�: Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? (she turns again) Miss!
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
[Scene: The Bings� bedroom, Chandler is undressing, Monica in bed already.]
Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That�ll make a baby.
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
[Scene: Restaurant, still just the not-couple.]
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?
Rachel: We got locked out of the apartment, we �
Ross: And then Rachel wasn�t sure she could leave the baby.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Ross: Okay, I�ll have the fixed salad and the duck.
Rachel: Yah, I�ll have the soup and the salmon.
Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn�t it? How d�you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the � manipulative shrew.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Rachel: Y�guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?
Chandler: You mean the lully story?
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I�m gonna take off.
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Monica: We don�t have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct �
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Maitre D�: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Joey: Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive.
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Roy: What's the matter? You never saw a 50 year old stripper cry before?
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross and Rachel.... You Know.]
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Joey: The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
ROSS: Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
Charity guy: So you’re asking us to refund your donation to the children?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!"
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Monica: Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
[Scene: The beach. Chandler and Monica are out getting some sun.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
CHANDLER: All right.� I've got a plan.� I'll go down the fire escape.
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute.
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Cecilia: I probably shouldve just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but yknow I just got so comfy here! And Ohh, I turned down some amazing work!
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
[Scene 13: Central Perk, the gang is gathered around Monica comforting her brother, who in a slight state of shock is cuddling a cushion for security.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
RACHEL: OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece.
(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Gunther: Nope! I still cant believe she slept with you in the first place.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Ross: Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically...
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
[Scene: Halloween Adventure, a costume shop, there is a salesman behind the counter, Ross enters.]
Joey: I never laughed so hardDid you see the wine come out of my nose?
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]